I looked in the mirror
(What did you see looking at you?)
I saw a nine stone weakling
(What will you do?)

Dynamic Tension waiting for you?
Dynamic Tension make a man out of you

I opened my magazine
(What did you see?)
I saw Mr. France
(What did he have?)
A girl on each shoulder
(What else?)
And one in his pants

Dynamic Tension can do this for you
Dynamic Tension make a man out of
You you you you you

So our hero goes down to the beach
He's in real terrible shape
His chick's been seen with big Alex
That mother kicked sand in his face
Now let me tell you about Alex
He's got:
Hands like hams
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200 lbs
Of surfboard Hercules

Mr. Atlas won't you bring
her on back to me
I lost my girl down by the beach
She's with Alex and she's out of reach
So please Mr. Atlas won't you
bring her on back to me
I saw your body in an advert on T.V.
But what convinced me was your
money back guarantee

Now I'm stronger than Alex
(Where is he now?)
He's left in disgrace
(Oh yeah?)
'Cos I took back my girlfriend
(Ha, ha, ha, ha)
And kicked sand in his face
(In his eyes, in his ears, in his nose)

Dynamic Tension waiting for you
Dynamic Tension make a man out of you
Dynamic Tension, Dynamic Tension
Dynamic Tension, Dynamic Tension