Sounds of Basketball being shot around
Sandler: "Hey man, I'm joining a religious
cult." Allen: "Now, that's ridiculous."
Sandler: "Well, I'm joining it, so you gotta
sign up too." Allen: "What are you talking
about?" Sandler: "Hey, don't fuck me on this,
man, just sign up." Allen: "No, I'm not going to
join a cult!" Sandler: "I can't believe you're
pulling this shit on me after Monday night --"
Allen: "What? Sandler: "-- I wanted to watch
Monday Night Football and you wanted to watch that
other show and we watched your show -- I did that
for you!" Allen: "Yeah, well, you kept flippin'
back to the game." Sandler: "I WANTED TO SEE THE
FUCKIN' SCORE! Whadda you gotta do that's so
fucking importnat you can't join the religious
cult with me?" Allen: "Well, I was gonna go
sunbathing." Sandler: "Oh, boy, no no, I don't
think you should do that. Because this guy,
Russell -- he's the leader-guy of the cult --"
Allen: "-- yeah --" Sandler: "-- he was
rambling on during one of the speeches about the
sun being bad, like the beast can't come out
because the sun's too bright and the sun hurts his
eyes or something -- you show up all sunburned and
that guy's gonna get pissed at you and me!"
Allen: "Well, I'm not in the cult, so I don't
have to worry about pissing the leader guy off!"
Sandler: "Look, I'm -- starting to believe in
some of the stuff the cult guy's been saying --
some of it makes a lot of sense! Allen: "Well,
good, but I don't want to join the cult. We can
still hang out; I just won't be in it with you."
Sandler: "The point is, I'm not gonna have time
to hang out with you because I'm gonna be fuckin'
busy with this fuckin' cult!" Allen: "So I'll
visit on weekends -- we'll work it out."
Sandler: "No, the weekends are like the busiest
time -- that's when we go to flea malls and
Find more similar lyrics on http://mp3lyrics.com/kOTfuckin' malls and talk people into joining, man!"
Allen: "Can I join for just a little while? I
told my dad I'd go visit him in Florida in three
weeks." Sandler: "Well, just, we'll ask then,
but we gotta join now." Allen: "What's the
hurry?" Sandler: "There's a girl I wanna meet
there, what the fuck's your problem?" Allen:
"Well, I mean I don't really have to believe in
this stuff, do I?" Sandler: "No, no, just
fuckin' tell everybody you believe in this shit --
when they say the sun sucks, go, "Yeah, fuck the
sun, I fuckin' hate it too, long live the fuckin'
beast." Allen: "I don't know, man. This is
crazy." Sandler: "Look, they're gonna give you
clothers, a free haircut, you're gonna get food
--" Allen: "-- it's not gonna be one of those
weird haircuts, is it?" Sandler: "It's gonna be
a haircut, all right? You said you need a haircut,
they're gonna fuckin' cut your hair. You're going
in, saving twelve bucks, just fuckin' do it!"
Allen: "Do you think the hot girl has a friend
for me?" Sandler: "Yeah, sure, and if she
doesn't, she'll go out and recruit one for you!"
Allen: "Well, all right. But, hey, if I don't
like it, I'm going to escape, man." Sandler:
"OK, that's up to you."

Three weeks later!

Chanting repeatedly "The night time is the right
time! The night time is the right time!"
Sandler: "Hey buddy, are you glad you did this?"
Allen: "Oh, this is the best thing I ever did.
Thank you." Sandler: "You're not mad at them
making you, uh, kill your father, are you?"
Allen: "You know, it's like they said. It was
the only way to save him." Sandler: "You're a
good guy." Allen: "You're a better one."
Chanting resumes