The band chats through the intro.{1}
Down in front. As much as I love everybody here.
There is rhythmic clapping from the audience.

Uppers and downers is bad for you,
They ain't like a-drinkin' wine.
Uppers and downers put the whammy on you,
Git you every time.
I ain't sayin' I never done 'em before,
Sure as hell ain't gonna do 'em no more.
Uppers and downers is bad for you,
They ain't like a-drinkin' wine.

Had a friend crazy for reds,
Nothin' bothered him at all, ya-da.
All the same, when he left some place,
Use the door, use the wall.
And about four days out of every week,
He couldn't remember what he'd done,
But he knew that downs was a-where it's at,
And havin' so much fun.

All together now! (Hee-haw!)

((Uppers and downers is bad for you,))
((They ain't like drinkin' wine,)) oh, no.
((Uppers and downers put the whammy on you,))
((They git you every time.))/
/(They ain't like drinkin' wine.){2}
((I ain't sayin' I never done 'em before,))
((Sure as hell ain't gonna do 'em no more.))
((Uppers and downers is bad for you,))
((They ain't like drinkin' wine.))

Find more similar lyrics on http://mp3lyrics.com/coh9Someone in the audience shouts something inaudible.

Cigarettes, they are bad for you too,
But Marijuana's fine. ((Yeeeeee!))
Everyone sort of sings the la-da-das with some freelancing.
((Ya-la-da, da-da, da-da,))
((La-la-dada-da, la-da, da (da),))
((La-la-la-la, la-dada-dada-da,))
((Da-lada-dada-da, a-la-da-da-da-da,))
((Da, da, da, la-da-da-da.))

((Uppers and downers is bad for you,))
((They ain't like drinkin' wine,)) oh, no, no.
((Uppers and downers put the whammy on you,))
One of the band members says,
"Goodnight Chet," to a patron leaving the bar.
((They git you every time.))
((I ain't sayin' I never done 'em before,))
((I sure as hell ain't)) (I ain't ) ((gonna do 'em no more.))
((Uppers and downers is bad for you,))
((They ain't like drinkin' wine.))

Oh, no, no.
((Ain't like drinkin' wine.))
Go ahead, pot smokin'...
((Ain't like drinkin' wine.))

Howling & belching, audience laughs.

Spoken:
I am a musician. That was my music.
Laughing.
Very expressive.