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	Current version of Allan Sherman Lyrics Good Advice (http://www.mp3lyrics.org/a/allan-sherman/good-advice/) Current version of the lyrics						Version 1 of Allan Sherman Lyrics Good Advice (http://www.mp3lyrics.org/a/allan-sherman/good-advice/v1.html) Version 1 of the lyrics
1	I know a man named Otis, who invented a room						+Good Advice	1
2	And his heart was filled with pride						I know a man named Otis who invented a room,	2
1							And his heart was filled with pride.	1
	I said to Mr. Otis, "What does your room do?"						I said to Mr. Otis, "What does your room do?"
3	He said, "It goes from side to side"						He said, "It goes from side to side."	3
4							So I said, "Mr. Otis, if you take my advice,	4
5	So I said, "Mr. Otis, if you take my advice						You'll be the richest man in town.	5
6	You'll be the richest man in town						You gotta take that room that goes from side to side,	6
7	You gotta take that room that goes from side to side						And make it go up and down."	7
8	And make it go up and down"						And that was good advice, good advice.	8
9							Good advice costs nothing, and it's worth the price.	9
10	And that was good advice, good advice						I sincerely doubt	10
11	Good advice costs nothing and it's worth the price						That                                           the world could do without	11
12	I sincerely doubt, that the world could do without my good advice						My                                                              good advice.	12
13							Sir Isaac Newton came around to my house one day.	13
14	Sir Isaac Newton came around to my house one day						His face was all sunburned and red.	14
15	His face was all sunburned and red						He said he didn't want to sleep in the shade of a tree,	15
16	He said he didn't want to sleep in the shade of a tree						Because an apple might fall on his head.	16
17	Because an apple might fall on his head						I said, "Sir Isaac, you dumbbell, take my advice.	17
18							Go right back there and sleep beneath that tree.	18
19	I said, "Sir Isaac, you dumbbell, take my advice						And if               you let that rotten apple fall down on your head,	19
20	Go right back there and sleep beneath that tree						Why you'll discover gravity."	20
21	And if you let that rotten apple fall down on your head						And               that was good advice, good advice.	21
22	Why you'll discover gravity"						Good advice costs nothing, and it's worth the price.	22
23							The world's a better place,	23
24	And that was good advice, good advice						Since I gave the human race	24
25	Good advice costs nothing and it's worth the price						My good advice.	25
26	The world's                                 a better place, since I gave the human race my good advice						A man named Mr. Waterman invented a tube.	26
27							He was sad because it sprung a little leak.	27
28	A man named Mr. Waterman, invented a tube						He said, "Darn it, when I hold my	28
29	He was sad because it sprung a little leak						tube on                           a piece of paper,	29
30	He said, "Darn it, when I hold my tube on a piece of paper						The ink leaks out and makes                     a little streak."	30
31	The ink leaks out and makes a little streak"						He said, "I've gotta find        a way to stop that leak.	31
32							I'll start working on my leakproof tube again."	32
33	He said, "I've gotta find a way to stop that leak						I said, "Waterman, you idiot, don't          stop that leak.	33
34	I'll start working on my leak proof tube again"						You just invented a fountain pen."	34
35	I said, "Waterman, you idiot, don't stop that leak						And                                              that was good advice, good advice.	35
36	You just invented a fountain pen"						Good advice costs nothing, and it's worth the price.	36
37							I'm so worldly wise,	37
38	And that was good advice, good advice						I should get the Nobel Prize,	38
39	Good advice costs nothing and it's worth the price						For good advice.	39
40	I'm so worldly wise, I should get the Nobel Prize for good advice						Good old Henry Ford, he was a hardworking man.	40
41							He worked all night and all day.	41
1	Good old Henry Ford, he was a hardworking man							1
2	He worked all night and all day							2
	I said, "Henry, watcha doin'?"						I said, "Henry, watcha doin'?"
42	And Henry, he said, "I'm inventing the Chevrolet"						And Henry, he said, "I'm inventing the Chevrolet."	42
43							He said, "I've already built twenty-five models,	43
44	He said, "I've already built twenty-five models						One for each letter from A to Z."	44
45	One for each letter from A to Z"						I said, "Henry, you fool, there are	45
46	I said, "Henry, you fool, there are twenty-six letters in the alphabet						twenty-six letters in the alphabet.	46
47	He said, "Good heavens, I forgot the Model T"						He said, "Good heavens, I forgot the Model T."	47
48							And that was good advice, good advice.	48
49	And that was good advice, good advice						Good advice costs nothing, and it's worth the price.	49
50	Good advice costs nothing and it's worth the price						It's fruitful as can be,	50
51	It's fruitful as can be and it's absolutely free, my good advice						And                             it's absolutely free.	51
52							My good advice.	52
53	Wilbur and Orville were two brothers, named Wright						Wilbur and Orville were two brothers named Wright.	53
54	The nicest pair of kids you've ever seen						The nicest pair of kids you've ever seen.	54
55	They worked twelve years on a secret project						They worked twelve years on a secret project.	55
56	They thought it was a washing machine						They thought it was a washing machine.	56
3								3
	I said, "Fellas, what are all those wings for?"						I said, "Fellas, what are all those wings for?"
57	They said, "For hanging clothes out to dry"						They said, "For hanging clothes out to dry."	57
58	I said, "You fools, take that washing machine out to Kitty Hawk						I said, "You fools, take that washing	58
59	And see if the darn thing'll fly"						machine out to Kitty Hawk,	59
60							And see if the darn thing'll fly."	60
61	And that was good advice, good advice						And that was good advice, good advice.	61
62	Good advice costs nothing and it's worth the price						Good advice costs nothing, and it's worth the price.	62
63	I'm so smart that I'm gonna win a Guggenheim for good advice						I'm so smart that I'm	63
64							Gonna win a Guggenheim,	64
65	One more time						For good advice.	65
66							(One more time)	66
67	Benjamin Franklin was a charming old man						Benjamin Franklin was a charming old man,	67
68	He was always flying his kite						He was always flying his kite.	68
69	One night I said, "Benjy, why ain't you out with your kite?"						One night I said, "Benjy, why ain't	69
70	He said, "Because it's raining tonight"						you out with your kite?"	70
71							He said, "Because it's raining tonight."	71
72	I said, "Benjy, sweety, you go right back out there						I said, "Benjy, sweety, you go right back out there,	72
73	And to your kite string, tie a key						And to your kite string tie a key.	73
74	This may shock you, Benjy, my boy						This may shock you, Benjy my boy,	74
75	But that's electricity"						But that's electricity."	75
76							And that was good advice, good advice.	76
77	And that was good advice, good advice						Good advice costs nothing, and it's worth the price.	77
78	Good advice costs nothing and it's worth the price						I'll be fond of you	78
79	I'll re model you, if you'll only listen to my good advice						If                      you'll only listen to	79
80							My good advice.	80
81	Ooga Magoog was a Neanderthal man						Ooga Magoog was a Neanderthal man,	81
82	A very poorly educated soul						A very poorly educated soul.	82
83	He had a great big square thing made of solid stone						He had a great big square thing made of solid stone,	83
84	And in the middle of it was a hole						And in the middle of it was a hole.	84
4								4
	One day he had to go from his cave in Natchez						One day he had to go from his cave in Natchez
85	To his uncle's cave in Mobile						To his uncle's cave in Mobile.	85
	I said, "Round off those corners						I said, "Round off those corners
86	And buy a set of tires						And buy a set of tires,	86
87	And Ooky baby, that's a wheel"						And Ooky baby, that's a wheel."	87
88							And that was good advice, good advice.	88
89	And that was good advice, good advice						Good advice costs nothing, and it's worth the price.	89
90	Good advice costs nothing and it's worth the price						Harvard offered me	90
91	Harvard offered me a Phi Beta Kappa key for good advice						A                 Phi Beta Kappa key	91
92							For good advice.	92
93	Sigmund Freud, he had an unfurnished house						Sigmund Freud, he had an unfurnished house.	93
94	He was a very nosy fellow, so it seems he had no chairs						He was a very nosy fellow, so it seems.	94
95	So he made all his friends stand around all day						He had no chairs,	95
96	And tell him, all their secrets and their dreams						So he made all his friends stand around all day,	96
97							And tell him all their secrets and their dreams.	97
98	Well, while they stood there talking 'till they got fallen arches						Well, while they stood there talking	98
99	They yelled, "My feet are killing me, ouch"						'till they got fallen arches,	99
100	I said, "Sigmund, don't you realize, you've got a gold mine here						They yelled, "My feet are killing me. Ouch!"	100
101	Go out and buy yourself a leather couch"						I said, "Sigmund, don't you realize	101
102							you've got a gold mine here.	102
103	And that was good advice, good advice						Go out and buy yourself a leather couch."	103
104	Good advice costs nothing and it's worth the price						And that was good advice, good advice.	104
105	Every word you're told will be eighteen karat gold, that's good advice						Good advice costs nothing, and it's worth the price.	105
106							Every word you're told	106
2							Will be 18 karat gold,	2
3							That's good advice.	3
	Alexander Graham Bell was building a fence						Alexander Graham Bell was building a fence
107	With some wood and a long piece of wire						With some wood, and a long piece of wire.	107
108	He said, "There's something strange going on around here						He said, "There's something	108
109	I keep hearing the voice of Uncle Myer"						strange going on around here.	109
110							I keep hearing the voice of Uncle Myer."	110
111	I said, "Mr. Graham Cracker", that was my little joke						I said, "Mr. Graham Cracker," (that was my little joke)	111
112	"With that wire you got the world in your palm						"With that wire you got the world in your palm.	112
113	Just get a mouthpiece and an earpiece and a piece in between						Just get a mouthpiece, and an	113
114	And you'll sponsor The Telephone Hour"						earpiece, and a piece in between,	114
115							And you'll sponsor The Telephone Hour."	115
116	And that was good advice, good advice						And that was good advice, good advice.	116
117	Good advice costs nothing and it's worth the price						Good advice costs nothing, and it's worth the price.	117
118	Every word ya hear, is the message of the year, it's good advice						Every word ya hear	118
119							Is the message of the year,	119
4							It's good advice.	4
	Christopher Columbus was a seaman second class						Christopher Columbus was a seaman second class
	When I told him that the Indies could be found						When I told him that the Indies could be found
120	By sailing to the West instead of sailing to the East						By sailing to the West instead of sailing to the East.	120
121	I advised him that I thought the world was round, I really thought so						I advised him that I thought the world was round.	121
122							(I really thought so.)	122
	And then I sent him down to ask good Queen Isabella						And then I sent him down to ask good Queen Isabella
123	To pawn her jewels for all their worth						To pawn her jewels for all their worth.	123
124	Next day he set sail and as everyone knows						Next day he set sail, and as everyone knows,	124
125	He fell off the edge of the Earth						He fell off the edge of the Earth.	125
126							And that was bad advice, bad advice.	126
127	And that was bad advice, bad advice						Bad advice is just the same as good advice.	127
128	Bad advice is just the same as good advice						Everybody makes	128
	Everybody makes occasional mistakes and that was bad advice						Occasional mistakes,
5							And that was bad advice.	5

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