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	Current version of Allan Sherman Lyrics J C Cohen (http://www.mp3lyrics.org/a/allan-sherman/j-c-cohen/) Current version of the lyrics						Version 1 of Allan Sherman Lyrics J C Cohen (http://www.mp3lyrics.org/a/allan-sherman/j-c-cohen/v1.html) Version 1 of the lyrics
1	Listen all you children to my sad refrain						+J. C. Cohen	1
2	About a subway conductor on a runaway train						Listen, all you children, to my sad refrain,	2
3	Squeezing people into cars, he won his fame						About a subway conductor on a runaway train.	3
4	And John Charles Cohen was the great man's name						Squeezing people into cars, he won his fame.	4
5							(yeah) And John Charles Cohen was the great man's name.	5
6	J. C. Cohen, what a great conductor						J. C. Cohen, what a great conductor,	6
7	IRT that's a subway line						IRT, that's a subway line,	7
8	And if you gotta travel uptown						And if you gotta travel uptown,	8
9	He's a greater conductor than Leonard Bernstein						He's a greater conductor than Leonard Bernstein.	9
10							'Twas on a Sunday in the summer, and from everywhere,	10
11	'Twas on           a Sunday in the summer and from everywhere						People planned to take a subway to the World's Fair.	11
12	People planned to take a subway                to the World's Fair						A half           a million people tried to push and jar,	12
13	A half a million people tried to push and jar						All of them determined                to get in one car.	13
14	All of them determined to get in one car						But the IRT depended on their finest men.	14
15							J. C. Cohen could pack a subway like a sardine can.	15
16	But         the IRT depended on their finest men						He pushed the people up and back and 'round about.	16
17	J. C. Cohen could pack a subway like a sardine can						He squeezed so many in, he squeezed the conductor out.	17
18	He pushed the people up and back and 'round about						J. C. Cohen, what a great conductor,	18
19	He squeezed so many in he squeezed the engineer out						How he'd moan, "Step to               the rear."	19
20							J. C. Cohen, he really had a problem,	20
21	J. C. Cohen, what a great conductor						On                   a subway train without an engineer.	21
22	How he'd moan, step to            the rear						J. C. tried       to get into the engineer's place,	22
23	J. C. Cohen, he really had                    a problem						But when         he look inside the cab he saw a strange man's face.	23
24	On                         a subway train without an engineer						A half-pint drunk with a full-pint bottle.	24
25							He emptied out the bottle, and he yelled, "Full throttle!"	25
26	J. C. tried to get into the engineer's place						They passed Columbus Circle doing 82,	26
27	But when he look inside the cab, he saw a strange man's face						'Couple minutes later they were under Bronx Zoo.	27
28	A half pint drunk with a full pint bottle						J. C. shuddered, and he said, "I guess	28
29	He emptied out the bottle and he yelled, full throttle						This used to be a Local, but it's now an Express."	29
30							J. C. Cohen, what a great conductor,	30
31	They passed Columbus Circle doing 82						Kept his head when everyone was tense.	31
32	A couple minutes later they were under Bronx Zoo						He said, "When we pass the city limits,	32
33	J. C. shuddered and he said, "I guess						Everybody pays another fifteen cents."	33
34	This used to be a local but it's now an Express"						J. C. said, "We're heading north, my friends,	34
35							But not a man alive knows where the subway ends."	35
36	J. C. Cohen, what a great conductor						The train went under Albany at 90 flat,	36
37	Kept his head when everyone was tense						And Governor Rockefeller hollered, "What was that!?"	37
38	He said, "When we pass the city limits						A lady said to J. C. Cohen with indignation,	38
39	Everybody pays another fifteen cents"						"If this is Albany, then you have passed my station.	39
40							So either you should take me back to Fifty-ninth Street,	40
41	J. C. said, "We're heading north, my friends						Or ask one of these gentlemen to give me his seat."	41
42	But not               a man alive knows where the subway ends"						J. C. Cohen, what a great conductor,	42
43	The train went under Albany at 90 flat						J. C. Cohen noticed something odd.	43
44	And Governor Rockefeller hollered, "What was that?"						When he saw lobsters on the roadbed,	44
45							He said, "I got a feeling we're beneath Cape Cod."	45
46	A lady said                        to J. C. Cohen with indignation						Oh well, the train kept speeding to the north, my friends,	46
47	"If this is Albany then you have passed my station						Finally came to where the tunnel ends.	47
48	So either you should take me back to fifty ninth Street						When they came up                 to the surface from the long, long hole,	48
49	Or ask one of these gentlemen to give me his seat"						They were 27 inches from the great North Pole.	49
50							J. C. hollered, "Everybody out!	50
51	J. C. Cohen, what                                          a great conductor						This is the end of the line, beyond the shadow of a doubt."	51
52	J. C. Cohen noticed something odd						They went out to get some fresh air, and before they took a whiff,	52
53	When he saw lobsters on the roadbed						Cohen and all               the passengers were frozen stiff.	53
54	He said, "I got a feeling we're beneath Cape Cod"						J. C. Cohen, what a great conductor,	54
55							Bless his soul, he ran out of luck.	55
56	Oh well, the train kept speeding to the north my friends						J. C. Cohen, he was really frozen,	56
57	Finally came      to where the tunnel ends						And he had to be brought home in a Good Humor truck.	57
58	When they came up to the surface from the long, long hole						When they told Mrs. Cohen that she'd lost her man,	58
59	They were twenty seven inches from the great North Pole						She said, "Must you interupt me when I'm playing Pan?"	59
60							Then she said to her partner, Mrs. R. J. Rosen,	60
61	J. C. hollered, "Everybody out						"Cohen was a lovely husband, but he's no good frozen."	61
62	This is the end of the line beyond the shadow of a doubt"						Then she went to her little boy, and took his hand,	62
63	They went                                    out to get some fresh air and before they took a whiff						And she said, "I'm going to take you out to Disneyland.	63
64	Cohen and all the passengers were frozen stiff						So Melvin, little darling, don't you weep or wail,	64
65							'Cause you got another papa on the monorail."	65
66	J. C. Cohen, what a great conductor						(Got another papa on the monorail.)	66
1	Bless his soul, he ran out of luck							1
2	J. C. Cohen, he was really frozen							2
3	And he had to be brought home in a Good Humor truck							3
4								4
5	When they told Mrs. Cohen that she'd lost her man							5
6	She said, "Must you interrupt me when I'm playing Pan?"							6
7	Then she said to her partner, Mrs. R. J. Rosen							7
8	"Cohen was a lovely husband but he's no good frozen"							8
9								9
10	Then she went to her little boy and took his hand							10
11	And she said, "I'm going to take you out to Disneyland							11
12	So Melvin, little darling, don't you weep or wail							12
13	'Cause you got another papa on the monorail"							13
14	Got another papa on the monorail							14

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