(This is a parody of Hotel California by The
Eagles)

From a dark desert highway we pulled into the inn
Rome called for a census, I was from Bethlehem Up
above from a distance a star was giving me light
My wife was heavy 'cause her child was due We
had to stop for the night

So I stood in the doorway of Bethlehem hotel And I
was thinking to myself "I hope to heaven
they'll give me some help" But they told us
no-can-do and they sent me away "There's a
place around the corner though where you both can
stay"

Welcome, but the hotel can't afford ya Such a
lovely place but we're out of space Ran out of
room and the hotel can't afford ya It's the time
of year with the census here

My wife was definitely gifted, that's what the
Lord's angel said She was about to have a baby boy
while still virgin Spent the night in the
barnyard, cheap slumlord's rent Some night to
remember, some night to forget
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So because of what happened I was grieving for my
wife I said "They probably haven't cleaned in
here since B.C. 65" Animal voices were
calling for straw and hay Keeping you up through
the middle of the night just as if to say...

Welcome, but the hotel can't afford ya Such a
lovely place, but we're out of space Holiday rush
and the hotel can't afford ya What a nice surprise
for your silent night

He was born that evening and shepherds came that
night And they said "We're all just visitors
here of the Holy Christ" And in an ass's
manger, they found the boy asleep They started
getting teary eyed so they went back to their
sheep

Last thing I remember there were wise men at the
door They had a bunch of packages from the place
they were before "We're late," said the
wise men "We had problems Christmas Eve We've
been checking out your shiny light all through the
Middle East"