Do your ears hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie them in a knot?
Can you tie them in a bow?
Can you throw them over your shoulder like a continental soldier?
Do your ears hang low?

Do your ears hang high?
Do they reach up to the sky?
Do they droop when they're wet?
Do they stiffen when they're dry?
Can you semaphore your neighbor with a mimimum of labor?
Do your ears hang high?

Do your ears hang wide?
Do they flap from side to side?
Do they wave in the breeze?
From the slightest little sneeze?
Can you soar above the nation with a feeling of elation?
Do your ears hang wide?

Do your ears flip-flop?
Can you use them for a mop?
Are they stringy at the bottom?
Are they curly at the top?
Can you use them for a swatter?
Can you use them for a blotter?
Do your ears flip-flop?

Do your ears hang askew?
Can you use one stirring stew,
while the other’s picking berries,
or making mountain dew?
Can you hold an elevator,
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Do your ears hang askew?

Do your ears fall off?
When you give a great big cough?
Do they lie there on the ground?
Or bounce up at every sound?
Can you stick them in your pocket like little Davy Crockett?
Do your ears fall off?

Do your eyeballs droop?
Do they wobble in your soup?
Can you tie them in a knot?
Can you tie them in a loop?
Can you throw them o’er your shoulder,
Like a continental soldier?
Do your eyeballs droop?

Does your nose hang down?
Does it drag upon the ground?
Can you tie it in a knot?
Can you tie it in a crown?
Can you throw it over your shoulder,
Like a continental soldier?
Does your nose hang down?

Do your eyes bug out?
Do they roll around your snout?
Do you go cross-eyed,
When you’re looking for a trout?
Can you see your image clearer,
Without looking in the mirror?
Do your eyes bug out?