Lyrics with no parentheses indicate a solo.
Lyrics in single parentheses indicate backup singer(s) only.
Lyrics in double parentheses indicate lead singer and backup singer(s) all sing.

Spoken introduction by Sheb Wooley.(See Note 2a)
Hi friends, I'm Sheb Wooley. I'd like you to meet a good friend of mine. He,
he's just a little bit off tonight. Here he is, Ben Colder!

Sound of someone bumping into a wall.

Spoken: Hello wall.

Sung in a "drunken" manner:
Verse 1:
I didn't see you standin' there.
Did I hurt you? ((Hello, hello.))
Boy, I sure did hit you square. (Ahh-ahh-ahh.)
Now one of us is plastered,
And I'll let you guess who. (Ahh-ahh-ooo.)
Just imagine bumpin' into you.

Verse 2:
Hey, wall. ((Hello, hello.))
Why did you let them move the door?
Find more similar lyrics on http://mp3lyrics.com/rKKhAnd the ceiling,
(Doo-ooo, doo-ooo.)/Hello, hello.
Why it use'to be the floor. (Ahh-ahh-ahh.)
Someone came while I was out,
And changed you all aroun'. (Ahh-ahh-ooo.)
Or could it be that I'm standin' upside down?

Bridge:
That chandalier it's all lit up.
It took a swing at me.
And someone put the bathtub,
Where the kitchen sink use'to be.

Verse 3:
Hello bedsheet. (Hello, hello.)
I guess I'd better lay me down.
You know I can't sleep,
(Doo-ooo, doo-ooo.)/Hell no, hell no.
If this bed keeps spinnin' aroun'. (Ahh-ahh-ahh.)
There's a picture on the headboard,
Hey, I've seen them folks before. (Ahh-ahh-ooo.)
Son of a gun, I'm in the house next door.

Boy, that sure would pickle your prunes!