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	Current version of Ben Folds Lyrics Bizarre Christmas Incident (http://www.mp3lyrics.org/b/ben-folds-five/bizarre/) Current version of the lyrics						Version 2 of Ben Folds Lyrics Bizarre Christmas Incident (http://www.mp3lyrics.org/b/ben-folds-five/bizarre/v2.html) Version 2 of the lyrics
1	Ho, ho, ho, play it grandpa						(Ho, ho, ho...Play       it Grandpa...Yeah,	1
2	Yeah, play it, let's tell them a little story						play it...Let's        tell them a little	2
3	About what happened this Christmas						story	3
4	Yeah, tell them, tell 'em 'bout Christmas						about what happened this Christmas....	4
1							Yeah, tell them... tell 'em 'bout	1
2							Christmas)	2
5	Christmas eve, I didn't get much sleep						Christmas Eve, I didn't get much sleep	5
	I kept hearing things, heavy breathing from the chimney						I kept hearing things, heavy breathing from the chimney
	Who could it be?						Who could it be?
6	I'll tell you what it was						(I'll tell you what it was... What	6
7	What happened then, Ben? Yeah, what happened?						happened then, Ben?... Yeah, what	7
8	Well, I went back to sleep						happened?... Well, I went back to sleep...	8
9	You went back to sleep? Back to sleep?						You went back to sleep? Back to	9
10	Shit tired        man, went back to sleep						sleep? Shit... Tired man, went back to sleep)	10
	And in the morning, I couldn't believe my eyes						And in the morning, I couldn't believe my eyes
	A whale of a corpe with a long white beard						A whale of a corpe with a long white beard
	Was dangling over the fire						Was dangling over the fire
11	Oh, Santa he's a big fat fuck						oh, Santa he's a big fat fuck	11
	Went down the chimney got his fat ass stuck						Went down the chimney got his fat ass stuck
	Oh, honey, call the lawyers fast						Oh, honey, call the lawyers fast
	'Cause Mrs. Clause is gonna sue my ass						'Cause Mrs. Clause is gonna sue my ass
12	Hey, hey, hey						hey, hey, hey	12
13	Okay grandpa, step up						(Ok grandpa, step up, sing in this thing	13
14	Sing in this thing right here						right here, tell 'em what you saw,	14
15	Tell 'em what you saw						tell 'em what you saw grandpa)	15
1	Tell 'em what you saw grandpa							1
16	I gotta tell you folks						I gotta tell you folks,	16
17	He wasn't wearin' no clothes						He wasn't wearin no clothes	17
	He musta rubbed a whole gallon of Crisco oil						He musta rubbed a whole gallon of Crisco oil
18	From his back down to his toes						from his back down to his toes	18
2								2
	While I was talking to the cops outside						While I was talking to the cops outside
19	The dog was lickin' Crisco off of his thighs						The dog was lickin Crisco off of his thighs	19
20	They hauled him away in a double wide						They hauled him away in a double-wide	20
	What a sad, sad way to die						What a sad, sad way to die
	Hey, hey, hey						Hey, hey, hey
	Santa, he's a big, fat fuck						Santa, he's a big, fat fuck
21	Went down the chimney, got his fat ass						went down the chimney, got his fat ass stuck	21
22	Oh, honey call the lawyers fast						oh, honey call the lawyers fast,	22
	Mrs. Claus is gonna sue our ass						Mrs. Claus is gonna sue our ass

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