All spoken:
Hi, I'm Ben Gay. I'd like to dedicate this number to Wayne
and Bruce and all my friends at the Chartreuse Moose. One,
two, buckle your shoe! OK boys. Let's slap it from the bottom.

Want to be a cowboy,
That's what I try to be.
Wanted to be a cowboy,
But they poked fun at me.
Dreamed of riding horses,
Roping and herding cattle.
Oh, how those brutes terrorised mem
When they saw my velvet saddle.
Can I help it if my skin's delicate?
'Course not.

I tried to be a wrangler,
Really and truly I tried.
But after this experience,
I'll stick to pony rides.
You should've seen the way they looked,
Their faces all turned pale,
Each time I took my brush out,
And ratted my horse's tail.
I though it looked just darling.

OK boys. Play the bridge.
Find more similar lyrics on http://mp3lyrics.com/2ffv
A couple of bars from
"Mary Had a Little Lamb" plays.

Not that kind of bridge, you silly savages
You want Ben Gay all over you?
He-he-he.

A cowboy's life is not for me,
In fact it was a curse.
Wanna know why I gave up?
They took away my purse.
Now my wrangling days are over,
But I can honestly say,
Whoever heard of a cowboy,
Named Hopalong Ben Gay.
I don't know why they took my purse.
They have saddle bags, don't they?

If you want to be a wrangler,
Take Ben's advice, hang loose.
Come see ole Wayne and me,
We'll be at the Chartreuse Moose.
Fix you up. Whatever!

They laughed at me when I ripped my
pantyhose pulling them over my spurs.