Bif Naked Alcohol is the Root Lyrics:
I know this is gonna sound...kinda bad, but I
really have to say, and this is kinda what I
believe, alcohol is the root of all evil. Don't
worry, it's just my opinion. Don't get
so...defensive. Don't look so..pissed off. I'm not
talking about you specifically. I don't eve know
you. I'm talking about my life. On my 12th
birthday at Mary's house in Lexington, I had my
first beer. I split most of it out. Her older
sister's friend was feeding it to me in his truck,
in the driveway. He was 16. Oh, we were listening
to Foreigner, and he was putting his fingers down
my pants. I was trying to be a grown up girl,
drinking a beer. Well, I drank beer for 14 years.
you know, every bad thing that has ever happened
to me would not have occurred if alcohol was not
involved. The last five boyfriends, out of my
total ten, would never even have started if I
hadn't been drunk as hell when I met him. God,
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looking back I shake my head. It's surprising
isn't it? I never could hold my liquor. Never once
in my dri nking history did I not get fully
pissed. Everytime. I have never, ever, been sober
after two. Cheap date. The funnest date. The
loudest jokes, the potty mouth. Why, I remember
this one time standing behind the bar where the
bartenders were workin', and because I knew that 2
photographers from National Geographic were
sittin' at the bar, I was showing 'em my tricks.
"Watch the Canadian girl pick the pimento out
of the olive with her tongue." Yeah, always a
barrel of laughs. How could I be taken seriously I
was drunk! I don't know, I feel kinda weird. I
feel kinda stupid. It's weird. I feel kinda
stupid. It's weird. I'm not necessarily bitter,
but I can't ever drink again, but I feel better, I
feel in control, I don't know how I ever drank. I
really don't know how I drank all that time. I
don't think that, uh, drinking is for everybody,
and I don't think not drinking's for everybody.
But I gotta say, sobriety makes hindsight beyond
20/20. And I still think, and will always
maintain, alcohol is the root of all evil.
Lyrics: Alcohol is the Root, Bif Naked [end]