Bif Naked Alcoholor Comedy Lyrics:
My life was Comedy. Quitting drinking was the
easiest thing I've ever done. I have never looked
back. I simply cannot understand why the hell I
waited so long! Unmanageable life--what an
embarrassment! What a weakness. What an ultimate
lack of self-discipline. What a loser. My parents
never drank or smoked, and I put them through
hell. My poor parents. I was such an ungrateful,
disrespectful, selfish, hormonal little teenager
with a mouthy attitude and sense of humour quite
unlike my sister's. I decided I didn't need to
continue attending church with my parents. I was
searching for my "individuality". What
an idiot. I wanted attention. I wanted everyone to
think I was funny. I wanted everyone to like me.
I, I hated myself. I was called Bug Eyes. I was
called Fish Lips. And, I was called Modern
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Dairies. The grade 9 girls hated me. They harassed
me and beat me up. I wonder if they're living
exciting, fulfilling loving lives. I wonder if
they're happy and healthy. Me and my best friend
Karine had every line of every Eddie Murphy movie
down. "Goonay goo goo" "you can
smell it" "I'm a karate man."
"Karate man bruise on inside. Just don't show
othe weakness." "Banana in the
tailpipe." "Babulay Babulay bahaha.
Babulay babulay ba ha." You name it. I wanted
to be Eddie Murphy. Or, or Robin Williams. I
wanted to be them. I still am enraptured with
comedians. They must always be carefree and
laughing and playing jokes and having fun. Except
for maybe Richard Lewis. He always says he can't
get a date. Betcha he can. Betcha he's really
ticklish, like me. Tickled with life, tickled
pink. Pink laaadies. Black Russians. Iron
butterflies. Quitting drinking was the easiest
thing I've ever done. Quitting my comedic dreams
was hard. I can never look back on either.
Lyrics: Alcoholor Comedy, Bif Naked [end]