Laura calls me in the middle of the night
Passes on her painful information
Then these careless fingers
They get caught in her vice
Til they're bleeding on my coffee table

Living alone isn't all that it's cracked up to be
I'm on her side, why does she push the poison on me?

Laura has a very hard time
All her life has been one long disaster
Then she tells me she suddenly believes
She's seen very good sign
She'll be taking some aggressive action

I fight her wars while she's slamming her doors in my face
Failure to break was the only mistake that she made

Here I am feeling like a fucking fool
Do I react the way exactly she intends me to?
Everytime I think I'm off the hook
She makes me lose my cool
I'm her machine, and she can punch all the keys
She can push any button I was programmed through
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Laura calls me when she needs a good fix
All her questions will get sympathetic answers
I should be so immunized to all of her tricks
She's surviving on her second chances

Sometimes I feel like this godfather deal is all wrong
How can she hold an umbilical cord for so long?

I've done everything I can
What else am I supposed to do
I'm her machine, and she can punch all the keys
She can push any button I was programmed through

Laura loves me even if I don't care
That's my problem, that's her sacred absolution
If she had to, she would put herself in my chair
Even though I faced electrocution

She always says I'm the best friend that she's ever had
How do you hang up on someone who needs you that bad?

Submitted by Michael Hack