I have heard, among this clan
You are called the forgotten man
Is that what they're saying? Well, did you evah
What a swell party this is

And have you heard the story of a boy
A girl, unrequited love?
Sounds like pure soap opera, I may cry
Aw
What a swell party this is

What frails
What cocks
What broads
What jocks

What furs, they're beautiful
Why, I've never seen such
Neither did I
It's all just too
Swellegant

This French champagne
Domestic
So good for the brain
That's what I was gonna say
Well, you know you're a brilliant fellow
Thank you, I am
Hehe, drink up Jim

So, have you ever been out to L.A. lately?
Well no, not recently
Well, I went there and had a rent-a-car and all
Oh, really?

Yeah and I got invited to Pia's house, Pia Zadora's house
Really? Oh
Yeah
Was it nice?
Well, I didn't, I didn't go
Oh, hehe
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It woulda been swell though
Shoulda gone
It woulda been elegant
Elegant

Oh wait, look, look who's coming in now can you believe it?
I hear they dismantled Pickfair
They did
It wasn't elegant enough, hehe
Yeah, probably full of termites
Yeah

It's great
It's grand
Wa wa wa wonderland
We sing so rare, like old Camembert

Have you heard the dying star
She got bit in the Astar bar
Sauced again, well, did you evah
What a swell party this is

Have you heard?
It's in the stars
Next July we collide with Mars
Well did you evah

What a swell party
What a swell party
What a swellegant elegant
Smarty?

Party, yeah
A smarty party?
I am a smarty, I'm pretty smart
You are a smarty for coming to this party
Yeah, that's right
Well piss off
Hehe, that's good, I like that