Handy Dandy controversy surrounds him
He's been around the world and back again
Something in the moonlight still hounds him.

Handy Dandy just like sugar and candy
Handy Dandy if every bone in his body were
a-broken he would never admit it
He got an all girl orchestra and when he says
strike up the band they hit it.

Handy Dandy
Handy Dandy
He'll say what are you made off
He'll say can you repeat what you say
You'll say what are you afraid off
He'll say nothing neither alive nor dead.

Handy Dandy he's got a stick in his hand
and a pocket full of money
He'll say oh darling tell me the truth how much time I got
She'll say you got all the time in the world honey.

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Handy Dandy
He got that clear crystal fountain
He got that soft silky skin
He got that fortress on the mountain
With no doors or windows so no thieves can break in.

Handy Dandy sitting with a girl named Nancy
and I got feeling kinda lazy
He said Hon' if you want a gun I'll give you one
She said boy you're talking crazy.

Handy Dandy just like sugar and candy
Handy Dandy pour him another brandy
Handy Dandy he got a basket of
flowers and a bag full of sorrow
He finishes his drink he gets up from the table he says
OK boys I'll see you tomorrow.

Handy Dandy
Handy Dandy just like sugar and candy
Handy Dandy just like sugar and candy.