They’re comin' here in December.
I heard they got a new member{1}.
Yes, they did!
And my only prayer, is that gramps were alive.
He never got a chance to see them.
Losin' all of his vision and most of hearin'.
But grandma had Depends{2} in the room,
Where he’d crank their tunes.

Grandma just shook her head and said, "Kid,
Grampa loved the Rollin' Stones.
And when he heard 'Paint It Black,' he smoked bones.
And when he died, they buried him next to Brian Jones{3}."

[Instrumental break.]

"Hey, Grandma,
Is it true what they say,
Keith{4} stumbled into Mick{5} the day
They discovered fire?"
"And grandma, some wise-talk goin' 'round town,
Sayin' that Charlie Ross's{6}, Watts'{6},
Three great-grandchildren are about to retire.
Now that ain’t nice?"

"Heard some talk about Jackie{7} Jagger{7} gettin' some
Intensive carin'.
Roamin’ around the nursin' home,
With Alzheimer’s flarin'.
Older than dirt.
Steel Wheelchairs the name of the tour."

Grandma just hung her head and said, "Boy,
Grampa loved the Rollin' Stones,
And when he played 'Satisfaction,'
He’d moan.
And when he died they carved a big tongue,
On his headstone.

"Grampa loved the Rollin' Stones,
When he played 'Jumpin' Jack Flash,'
'Heart of Stone,' or 'Play with Fire,'
He almost passed a kidney stone."