You are my best friend in the world
And I hope that you know
When we hangout together
It's freaking awesome

Playing poker Friday night
Pyromancing off golf cart races
You think that my sister's hot
I accidentally shot your finger

Off your writing hand, oh well
You get disability
I broke my leg, you laughed so hard
And told the ambulance to stop at the bar

You'll tell the world I'm gay when you hear me say
That I really and truly feel this way
Not that there's anything wrong with being gay

And sometimes we punch each other in the face
Like when I hit on your mom and got to second base
I'm trying to say I love you in a heterosexual way

You fart and burp in the same key
And I think your iPod sucks
You make fun of my hair
Because yours is disappearing
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I've seen your penis, you've seen mine
I popped your pimples
You rubbed aloe vera on my sunburnt back
You went in fits when I shit my pants

You felt my girls' brand new boobs
You asked to suck them she refused
So while you slept I shaved your head
You woke up and told me that I

You'll tell the world I'm gay when you hear me say
That I really and truly feel this way
Not that there's anything wrong with being gay

And sometimes we punch each other in the face
Like when I hit on your mom and got to second base
I know you know I love you
I'm trying to say I love you in a heterosexual way

You'll tell the world I'm gay when you hear me say
That I really and truly feel this way
Not that there's anything wrong with being gay

And sometimes we punch each other in the face
Like when I hit on your mom and got to second base
I'm trying to say I love you in a heterosexual way