Rita spits out her laurel leaf
and grabs a piece of my pie
she's gonna lead me up the mountain path
as the crows fly

Claudette's pretty quick off the mark
like a polaris missile in heat
she smiles at a hundred miles an hour
and rushes you off your feet

There's all these friends of mine
they've got me suffering
they don't take a line
they keep me pissing adrenalin

Ratty is nearly unique
looks like a Pre-Raphaelite barb freak
wears dangerous jewellery
got a cast iron personality
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Sandie wears an awful lot of silk
says she's a friend of Mr Acker Bilk
she's going out of my mind
wants to live on milk

There's all these friends of mine ...

I was musing on the pool outdoors
about foreign matters and fancy affairs
Betty trimmed my nails with pliers
while eating avocado pears

Norman's sobbing cos his make-up's
running away with itself
he's heading for an early grave
scared to death about the state of his health

There's all these friends of mine ...