I've got some fat to lose
And something else too
I never knew the rules
Because I've never had a girlfriend
I suppose I've got a lot to learn
I don't know anything
I'm only seventeen
I go to public school
They never taught me anything I need to learn
But someone told me where to find out

Out where the lights are red
And the pretty ladies call from their shop floors
Out where the films are blue
And the licensed places never shut their doors
I will go there — BINGO!
I will find out
I will discover — BINGO!
What the fuss is about

So I went up to town
And got some money out
I found myself a bar
Where all the lovely ladies offered me their help
And then I re-ally found out
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Out where the lights are red
And the pretty ladies call from their shop floors
Out where the films are blue
And the licensed places never shut their doors
Yes, I went there — BINGO!
And I found out
Yes, I discovered — BINGO!
What the fuss is about

But as I tried to leave
They gave the bill to me
I couldn't quite believe
They made me pay a hundred pounds for diet coke
Or they would call my mother

Out where the skies are black
And await another victim to piss on
Out where the kids are green
And are thick enough to let themselves be conned
Yes I went there — BINGO!
And I found out
Yes I discovered — BINGO!
What the fuss is about