It was a terrible day. My legs felt like four
pounds of cheese in a two-pound bag. I didn't know
what to do. My eyes were bloodshot, and actually
my legs were bloodshot as well. It was strange,
but I was happy. I got into my car. I decided I
was going to leave the city. Gonna go south, gonna
have a holiday. So I got in my car and I wondered
why it wasn't running and then I realized I didn't
have any keys. So I went in the house, found my
keys, came back out, started the car, and drove
down the highway. The highway shimmered like black
incense on the bald head of a Buddhist monk. I
drove down the highway and I got to that big city
of Miami. The steaming, seedy city - the city
that's so seedy, the have trees there. Well I went
into the nearest hotel and I went up to the door
and I said, "I'd like a room." Then I
realized I was outside and I had to go inside. So
I went inside and I walked up to the desk and I
said, "I'd like a room, please." They
said allright, and they gave me a key. Then I
turned around, and there waiting for me was the
Concierge. Concierge! (repeated many times) Well
he looked at me, then I looked at him, then he
looked back at me, and then I took a putty knife
and I rubbed it against his cheeks in a very
provocative way. And he turned around and said,
"Follow me." So I followed him up the
stairs. I went to my room. He opened the door for
me, and then he hit me in the back of the head
with a big silver shovel. I said, "What's
that about?" He said, "You get it free
Find more similar lyrics on http://mp3lyrics.com/EURwith the room." Who was I to argue? And I
went in. My whole room was covered with soap.
Little soaps, all over the room, everywhere! In
the bed, on the ceiling, everywhere! I said,
"What's with the soap?" And he says,
"What, you don't like soap?" I said,
"No, I'll take it, thanks." He left the
room, and then gave me a stare that almost turned
my blood to blood. Anyway, I lay down on the bed,
and it was a hot day so I was tossing and turning,
and tossing and turning. And then the soap started
to lather up and lather up! And I was gonna die! I
was gonna suffocate! So I called the front desk,
and they sent up the Concierge! Concierge!
(repeated many times) Well he looked at me up and
down, and he looked at me like I was four pounds
of shit in a two- pound bag. And I looked back at
him like he was four pounds of shit in a
four-pound bag. And then he looked at me like I
was six pounds of shit in a pound-and-a-half-bag.
And I looked at him like he was 18 kilograms of
shit in a thimble. And then I stabbed him in the
face. And then he bit my head off and put it in a
bag. And that's when I fell in love with the
Concierge. Concierge! (repeated many times) Now we
live in a small beach house on a small beach on
Long Island - it's a long, small island, but I
love it well. And he loves me well. And sometimes
we take a trip down the highway that's glistening
like a Buddhist monk with incense ablaze, and we
think of the day we first met - me, and the
Concierge. Concierge...