C.W. McCall Classified Lyrics:
I's thumbin' through the want ads in the Shelby
County Tribune when this classified advertisement
caught my eye. It said, "Take imme-di-ate delivery
on this '57 Chevrolet half-ton pickup truck. Will
sell or swap for a hide-a-bed and thirty-five
bucks. Call One-four-oh, ring two, and ask for
Bob." Well, I called Bob up on the telephone, he
says, "Hello, this is Bob speakin'." I says "This
here the Bob got the pickup truck for sale?" He
says, "Yeah." I says, "Where are ya?" He says,
"Fourteen east on County 12, turn right on the
one-lane gravel road, you can park in the yard,
beware of the dog, wipe your feet off, knock three
times, and bring your billfold." Well, I tooled on
east on County 12, turned right on the one-lane
gravel road, and I parked in the yard and a German
shepherd come out and grabbed onto my leg. Then I
knocked three times and wiped my feet, the dog let
go and the screen door opened and Bob come out and
says "Whaddya want?" I says, "Come to see your
truck." He says, "Follow me. Come on, Frank."
(Dog's name is Frank.) Well, we all went past the
chicken house, through the hog pen, down to the
tractor shed, and then wound up in back of the
barn in a field of cowpies. And settin' right
there in a pool of grease was a half-ton Chevy
pickup truck with a 1960 license plate, a bumper
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sticker says "Vote for Dick" and Brillo box full
of rusty parts, and Bob says "Whaddya think?".
Well, I kicked the tires and I got in the seat and
set on a petrified apple core and found a bunch of
field mice livin' in the glove compartment. He
says, "Her shaft is bent and her rear end leaks,
you can fix her quick with an oily rag. Use a nail
as a starter; I lost the key. Don't pay no mind to
that whirrin' sound. She use a little oil, but
outside a' that, she's cherry." I says, "What'll
take?" He says, "What've you got?" I says,
"Twenty-eight dollars and fifteen cents." He says,
"You got a deal. Sign here, I'll go get the title
and a can full of gas." I put the nail in the slot
and fired 'er up; she coughed and belched up a
bunch a' smoke and I backed her right through the
hog pen into the yard. Well, Frank jumped in and
bit my leg and I beat him off with a crowbar. He
jumped on out and the door fell off and the left
front tire went flat. I jacked it up and patched
the tube and Frank tore a piece of my shirt off.
Then Bob come out and called him off and says "You
better'd get on out of here." I went left on the
one-lane gravel road, went fourteen west on County
12. Took two full quarts of forty-weight oil just
to get her to the Conoco station. And I pulled up
to the Regular pump and then Harold Sykes and his
kid come out. He says, "I've seen better stuff at
junkyards and where'd you ever get that truck?" I
says, "That's a long story, Harold. I's thumbin'
through the want ads in the Shelby County Tribune
when this classified advertisement caught my eye.
It said, "Take imme-di-ate delivery on this '57
Chevrolet half-ton pickup truck. Will sell or swap
for a hide-a-bed and thirty-five bucks..."
Lyrics: Classified, C.W. McCall [end]