David Allan Coe Pick em, Lick em' Stick em Lyrics:
I was 15 going on 20,
When I met up with the soul man.
He was quite a lover of the cards and of the dice.
And he had whores and he had ladies.
He'd made love and he'd made babies.
He could tell some damn good stories,
And give some good advice.

"You gotta learn how ta pick 'em, son.
Learn how ta lick 'em, son.
Learn how to stick 'em, son, between the thighs.
And you got to try not to beat 'em too much.
Try not to teach 'em too much.
Try not to feed 'em too much bull shit and lies."

He'd sit down and pour some whiskey,
And he'd mixed it up with water.
"Here's a picture of my daughter,"
He would say it, and he would sigh.
Then he'd would drink and laugh a little,
As he picked up that ol' fiddle,
That same ol' riddle, I never did know why.

"You gotta learn how ta pick 'em, son.
Learn how ta lick 'em, son.
Learn how to stick 'em, son, between the thighs.
And you got to try not to beat 'em too much.
Try not to teach 'em too much.
Try not to feed 'em too much bull shit and lies."

Now the years have seen him burried.
His daughter and me marry.
I was sure he'd raised her right,
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An taught her how ta fuck.
when I asked her what he'd told her,
She said he'd never scold her.
He would always hold her,
But he never told her much.

[Spoken:]
Well, he told her, men were plain and simple.
Told her love was like a pimple.
Once you squeeze the juices out it just goes away.
He taught her how ta hold on tighter,
And he taught her not to let men fight her.
And then there was this poem he taught her on his dyin' days.

[Sung:]
"You got to learn how ta suck 'em, daughter.
Learn how ta fuck 'em, daughter.
Learn how ta take their money, learn how ta cry.
You got to try not to hold 'em too much.
Try not to scold 'em too much.
Try not to feed 'em too much bull shit and lies."

You gotta learn how ta pick 'em, son.
Learn how ta lick 'em, son.
Learn how to stick 'em, between the thighs.
[Fade.]
And you got to try not to beat 'em too much.
Try not to teach 'em too much.
Try not to feed 'em too much bull shit and lies.
And you gotta...


[PICK 'EM, LICK 'EM, STICK 'EM [1]
[Written by: David Allan Coe
Performed by: David Allan Coe
Appears on: Underground Album-1982 (Track 8) [2] & 18 X-Rated Hits-1990
(Track 7).]

[1] To the tune of, "The Gambler," by Kenny Rogers.]

[2] Transcribed from the track on this album.]
Lyrics: Pick em, Lick em' Stick em, David Allan Coe [end]