[sound of rain pouring, footsteps]

[Eminem]
A lot of people ask me.. me stupid fuckin' questions. questions
A lot of people think that.. that what I say on records
orOr what I talk about on a record, thatenter deleted
I actually do in real life
orOr that I believe in it
Or if I say that, I wanna kill somebody, that.. that
I'm actually gonna do itenter deleted
or that I believe in it... it
Well, shit..Well shit, if you believe that,
that then I'll kill you. you
You know why?
Cuz'Coz I'm a... a
CRIMINALCriminal
CRIMINALCriminal
You'reYou goddamn right
I'm a CRIMINAL criminal
Yeah, I'm a CRIMINAL criminal

[Eminem]
My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge
That'll stab you in the headenter deleted
whether you're a fag or lez
Or the homosex, hermaph or a trans-a-vest
Pants or dress - dress, hate fags? The answer's "yes" answer's, "Yes"

Homophobic? Nah, you're just heterophobic
Starin at my jeans, watchin' my genitals bulgin' (Ooh!)
That's my motherfuckin' balls, you'd better let go of em 'em
They belong in MY my scrotum, you'll never get hold of em 'em

Hey, it's me, Versace
Whoops, Versace, whoops, somebody shot me!
And I was just checkin' the mail
Get mail, get it? Checkin' the 'male'? [*clicks tongue twice*]
How many records you expectin' to sell
afterAfter your second LP sends you directly to jail?
C'mon!--
C'mon! Relax guy, I like gay men
Right, Ken? Give me an amen (AAA-men!) Amen
Amen!
Please Lord, this boy needs Jesus
Heal this child, help us destroy these demonsenter added
Oh, and please send me a brand new car
And a prostitute while my wife's sick in the hospital
Preacher preacher, fifth grade teacher
You can't reach me, my mom can't neitherenter added
You can't teach me a goddamn thing cause ause
I watch TV, and Comcast cable
andAnd you ain't able to stop these thoughts
You can't stop me from toppin' these chartsenter added
And you can't stop me from droppin' each March
withWith a brand new cd for these fuckin' retards
Duhhh,Duh, and to think, it's just little ol' me
Mr. "Don't Don't Give A Fuck," Fuck, still won't leave

[Chorus x2: Eminem]

I'm a CRIMINAL criminal
Cuz'Coz every time I write a rhyme, theseenter deleted
people think it's a crime
toTo tell em 'em what's on my mind - mind, I guess guess, I'm a CRIMINAL criminal
But I don't gotta say a word, I just flip 'em the bird
andAnd keep goin', I don't take shit from no one
[Eminem]I'm a criminal
'Coz every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crime
To tell 'em what's on my mind, I guess, I'm a criminal
But I don't gotta say a word, I just flip 'em the bird
And keep goin', I don't take shit from no one

My mother did drugs - drugs, tar,enter deleted
liquor, cigarettes, and speed
The baby came out - out, disfigured, ligaments indeed
It was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as she
Don't dare make fun of that baby cause 'cause that baby was meenter added
I'm a CRIMINAL - criminal, an animal caged who turned crazed
But how the fuck you sposed supposed to growenter deleted
up when you weren't raised?
So as I got older and I got a lot taller
My dick shrunk smaller, but my balls got largerenter added
I drink malt liquor to fuck you up quicker
thanThan you'd wanna fuck me up for sayin sayin' the word nigga
My morals went 'thhbbpp' went, when the president President got oral sex
Sex inIn his Oval Office on top of his desk
Off off of his own employeeenter added
Now don't ignore me, you won't avoid me
You can't miss me, I'm white, blonde-hairedenter deleted
and my nose is pointy
I'm the bad guy who makes fun of people that die
inIn plane crashes and laughs
As as long as it ain't happened to himenter added
Slim Shady, I'm as crazy as Em
-inemEminem and Kim combined - [*kch*] combined, the maniac's in
Replacin' the doctor cause 'cause Dre couldn't make it today
He's a little under the weather, so I'm takin takin' his place
[muffled shouting]
Oh, that's Dre with an AK to his face
Don't make me kill him too and sprayenter deleted
his brains all over the place
I told you Dre, you should've kept that thang put away
I guess that'll teach you not toenter deleted
let me play with it, eh? [*BAM*]
I'm a CRIMINAL criminal

[Interlude Skit]
Aight look (uh huh) look, uh huh, just go up in that motherfucker
getGet the motherfuckin' money and getenter deleted
the fuck up outta there. there
[Em] Aight.Aight
I'll be right here waitin' on you. you
[Em] Aight.Aight
Yo, Em...Yo Em
[Em] WHAT?!What?!
Don't kill nobody this time! time
[Em] All right!Awright, goddamn, fuck... fuck
[door squeaks]
(whistling) howHow you doin'?
[Teller] Hi,HI, how can I help you?
[Eminem] YeahYeah, I need to make a withdrawal. withdrawl
[Teller] Okay.Okay
[Eminem] [cocks shotgun]Put the fuckin' money in the bag bitch,
bitch and I won't kill you. you!
[Teller]What? Oh my god, God, don't kill me. me
[Eminem]I'm not gonna kill you.
you bitch, quit lookin' around... around
[Teller]Don't kill me, please don't kill me
I got two kids at home...
[Eminem] I said I'm said, "I'm not gonna fuckin' kill you. you"
[Teller] Oh, my God!
[Eminem] Hurry the fuck up! [BAM]enter added
Thank you!

[Eminem]
Windows tinted on my ride when I drive in it
[car door slams, engine revving]
So when I rob a bank, run out and just dive in it
So I'll be disguised in it
And and if anybody identifies the guy in it
I'll hide for five minutesenter added
Come back, shoot the eyewitness
Fire at the private eye hired to pry in my business
Die, bitches, bastards, brats, pets
This puppy's lucky I didn't blastenter deleted
his ass yet
[dog whines]
If I ever gave a fuck, I'd shave my nuts
tuckTuck my dick inbetween my legs and cluck
You motherfuckin' chickens ain't brave enough
toTo say the stuff I say, so just tapeenter deleted
it shut
[tape unrolls]
Shit, half the shit I say, I just make it up
To make you mad mad, so kiss my white naked ass
And if it's not a rapper that I make it as
I'ma be a fuckin' rapist in a Jason mask
[Chorus x2]I'm a criminal
'Coz every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crime
To tell 'em what's on my mind, I guess, I'm a criminal
But I don't gotta say a word, I just flip 'em the bird
And keep goin', I don't take shit from no one
[BOOM]I'm a criminal
'Coz every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crime
To tell 'em what's on my mind, I guess, I'm a criminal
But I don't gotta say a word, I just flip 'em the bird
And keep goin', I don't take shit from no one

I'm a criminal
'Coz every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crime
To tell 'em what's on my mind, I guess, I'm a criminal
But I don't gotta say a word, I just flip 'em the bird
And keep goin', I don't take shit from no one

I'm a criminal
'Coz every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crime
To tell 'em what's on my mind, I guess, I'm a criminal
But I don't gotta say a word, I just flip 'em the bird
And keep goin', I don't take shit from no one

I'm a criminal