* Eminem does the voices of all characters in the song *

G - Eminem as Susan (the girl)
D - Eminem as Dave
J - Eminem as John
R - Eminem as Ron

Chorus: repeat 2X

I never meant to give you mushrooms girl
I never meant to bring you to my world
Now you sitting in the corner crying
And now it's my fault my fault

Eminem
I went to John's rave with Ron and Dave
And met a new wave blonde babe with half of her head shaved
A nurse aid who came to get laid and tied up
with first aid tape and raped on the first date
Susan -- an ex-manic depressive who just moved from Houston
who love booze and alternative music (Whattup?)
Told me she was starvin, I said it wasn't a problem (Nah!)
I got a coupon for this pizza with everything on it
We can double the mushrooms and minus the sausage
G I'm allergic to fungus
Come on Sue, that's nonsense
Who's at the door?? Pizza man!
Who ordered pizza? Wasn't it yours? Nuh uh
G If you got it with double
mushrooms on it then I don't want it
Shutup Susan I'll pick em off it
Oh hell, I might as well try it, I'll be alright
Susan you just swallowed the wrong slice!!

Chorus:
1st repeat Em says "I'm sorry!" at the end
2nd repeat same as original Chorus

"Yo Sue!"
G Get away from me, I don't know you
Oh shoot, she's tripping..
G I need to go puke!! (Bleahh!)
I wasn't tryin to turn this into somethin major
I just wanted to make you appreciate flavor
Susan, stop cryin, I don't hate ya
I'm sorry your father used to chase you
and spank you with hangers
So what they locked you in the attic in your dad's house?
That ain't no reason to start wiggin and spaz out
Find more similar lyrics on http://mp3lyrics.com/aY1She said,
G Help me I think I'm havin a seisure!
I said, "You're breaking out in hives, let go of the pizza!"
"Would you put it down you're startin to scare me"
She said,
G I'm twenty-six years old and I'm not married
I don't even have any kids and I can't cook
(Hello!) I'm over here Sue, (hi) you're
talkin to the plant, look!
We need to get to a hospital 'fore it's too late
Cause I never seen no-one eat as many shrooms as you ate

Chorus:
1st repeat Em says "Whoops!" after
first line and "It was an accident!"
at the end
2nd repeat same as original Chorus

Susan (wait!) Where you goin? You better be careful
G Leave me alone dad, I'm sick of gettin my hair pulled
I'm not your dad, quit tryin to swallow your tongue
Want some gum? Put down the scissors,
'fore you do somethin dumb
I'll be right back just chill baby please?
I gotta go find Dave he's the one who gave me these
"John, where's Dave at before I bash you?"
J He's in the bathroom; I think he's takin a crap dude!
"Dave! Pull up your pants, we need an ambulance
There's a girl upstairs talkin to plants
choppin her hair off, and there's only two days left
of Spring Break, how long do these things take to wear off?"
D Well it depends on how many you had
I took three, she ate the other 22 caps
Now she's upstairs cryin out her eyeballs, drinkin lights off"
D She's gonna die dude
"I know and it's my fault!"
D My god!!!

Chorus :
1st repeat Em says "I'm sorry!"
after second line and "What do I do?"
at the end
2nd repeat same as original Chorus

My God, I'm so sorry!
I'm so sorry! Susan please wake up!
Please! Please wake up!! What are you doing?!
You're not dead!! You're NOT dead!
I know you're not dead!