Frank Zappa Be-Bop Tango (of the old Jazzmen's
Church) Lyrics:
Frank Zappa (lead guitar, vocals) George Duke
(keyboards, synthesizer, vocals) Tom Fowler (bass)
Ruth Underwood (percussion) Jeff Simmons (rhythm
guitar, vocals) Don Preston (synthesizer) Bruce
Fowler (trombone) Walt Fowler (trumpet) Napoleon
Murphy Brock (tenor saxophone, flute, lead vocals)
Ralph Humphrey (drums) Chester Thompson (drums)
Debbie (background vocals) Lynn (background
vocals) Robert Camarena (background vocals) Some
of you may know that the tango, Which is not a
very popular dance anymore, Was at one time
reputed to be a dance of unbridled passion. Back
in the old days when it wasn't so easy to get your
rocks off, When it was hard to make contact with a
member of the opposite camp And you had to resort
to things like dancing close together And going
hey... Those were the days. Well those days are
probably gone forever, I don't know, Unless Nixon
is going to bring them back a little bit later.
But we have this very special highly evolved
permutated tango. It's actually a perverted tango.
By the time... Yes, it's so perverted! This is the
Be-Bop Tango, A special entertainment event that
includes choreography a little bit later, so watch
out folks... You can turn on the big lights, we
may need 'em. You know, the ones in the audience.
Heh heh. Okay, 're you ready? Not too fast now
'cause I wanna get the right notes on the tape 'N'
this, this has to be the one. This has to be the
one with all the right notes on it. Okay, 're you
ready? This is a hard one to play. One two three
four... The cowbell as a symbol of unbridled
passion, ladies and gentlemen. Now, as you might
have noticed, Bruce Fowler has just completed some
sort of trombone solo, Based on the-ah, idea of an
evolved tango-event. Bruce has also prepared for
you a demonstration of a dance That he hopes will
sweep the ocean right after the Mud Shark did.
Bruce is now warming up the important muscles of
the body, In preparation...in preparation for the
real live Be-Bop Tango Which we're gonna
demonstrate. Napoleon will assist him. Napoleon
just put your horn down, Just relax, Put your head
back, Here comes the drill. Okay, heh heh heh, you
know what I'm talkin' about? Okay. This is sort of
like jazz in it's own peculiar way. Jazz is not
dead, it just smells funny! Okay, let's go! Yeah
man, jazz man, you know what I mean? This is
Be-Bop, Even though you think it doesn't sound
like that. Be-Bop! Now, as you might have noticed,
Some of you with a musical education Can tell that
the notes that George just sang when he went:
"This is Be-Bop, even though you think it
doesn't sound like that", Is actually a sort
of a twisted form of the theme of the tango itself
Which will get even more depraved as the number
goes on. George will now attempt to dismember that
melody, Play it and sing it at the same time
while... Tu-dup. Hey, that's the way! While we
sort of dance to it. Okay, try it George. Tu-dup,
tu-dee... Oh yeah! As I was saying. Now, what we'd
like to do at this point Is get some volunteers
[ Find more Lyrics on http://mp3lyrics.org/VFB ]
from the audience to... I know you will, oh God
you will... We need some...heh heh heh... Now, as
a matter of fact you did, didn't you... No, we
wanna have some people who've never tried it bef
ore, Who've never even thought of trying it
before. A boy, a girl, preferably who like each
other, Who would like to come up here and attempt
to dance to what George sings. Do we have anybody
who is...you're one. Okay, what's your name? Carl.
Your name is Carl? Please Carl step on to the
stage. Pleased to meet you Carl. Alright. Okay?
Let's see-ah, is there anybody in the, in the
back? Where...oh-oh, hey! What's your name? Rick.
Rick, and? Jane. Rick and Jane and Carl! Alright,
here's how it works: There's a beat going on like
this; That's a pedestrian beat. You don't dance to
that beat, You dance to what George sings, okay?
The little ones, okay? The little quick ones,
okay? Ready? George, make them dance! Dup. No no
Rick, you're too reserved. Ready? Give it to 'em
George! Tu-dup, tu-dup pu-dee-da... No no, come on
now, loosen up. Listen, encourage them! When it...
Ah! Okay! Alright, one more time: dance! Tu-dup,
du-dee-da... Let's study this phenomenon.
Tu-duppy-dup-pu-dee-da... Now look, Rick and Jane
and Carl, You're, you're wonderful but you're just
too reserved. I still can... I know you will,
maybe in a minute. Okay, I'll t-tell you what: Go
back to your seats and we'll bring up the next
batch. Okay? Carl, Rick and Jane! Alright, you
wanna try...? Anything you say Frank! Oh my God!
Alright, you're name is Lana, right? Lana dance!
Du-dup-dee-dup... Now that's more like it.
Du-dup-dee-dup... Lana, you're so good we have to
bring up some other people to assist you. Brenda,
imported from Edward's Air Force Base, where
she... Ladies and gentlemen, Brenda... Brenda is a
professional harlot And she just got finished
stripping for a bunch of guys at Edward's Air
Force Base, And she made it down here in time for
the show. Two hours of taking it off for the boys
in the car, really good. Okay. Heh. Brenda, Brenda
has a lovely assistant named Carl, Or Robert James
Davis if you prefer. Herb Cohen, ladies and
gentlemen! Okay, dance! Du-du-dip... You're still
too adagio, I keep telling you!
Du-dup-du-dee-da... Turn on the bubble machine!
Dup-dee-da, dup-dee-da... God, is that a cheap
bubble-machine! Bow, du-du-du-du-du-da... Ladies
and gentlemen: Don's ex-wife! Ladies and
gentlemen, You're probably sitting in your chairs,
Saying to yourselves: I could do that. And of
course you can! And now is your big chance! All
you have to do, The first step is easy, All you
gotta do is stand up. Go ahead, just stand up.
There you go, you are standing up. Yes, some of
you are not standing up But you won't have as much
fun as the ones who are standing up. Okay, turn on
the big lights so everybody can see what's going
on. Yes, very many of you are standing up. Okay,
link your mind with the mind of George Duke! And
when... Du-dup... That's it! When he plays those
funny fast little notes, Twitch around and have a
good time with the Be-Bop Tango, Let's try it!
Anything you wanna do is alright. You gotta do
anything you wanna do, it's alright. Yes you got
to know you came to the right place, tonight.
(Give me some of that wine now). As you might have
guessed, ladies and gentlemen, This is the end of
our concert. We like to thank you ver... Wanna
thank you very much for coming. Hope you had a
good time. Bruce Fowler on trombone, Napoleon
Murphy Brock on tenor sax and lead vocals, Ruth
Underwood on percussion, Ralph Humphrey on drums,
Chester Thompson on drums, Tom Fowler on bass And
George Duke on the keyboards. Thank you very much.
Alright, alright...
Lyrics: Be-Bop Tango (of the old Jazzmen's Church),
Frank Zappa [end]