Frank Zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Warren Cucurullo (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Denny Walley (slide guitar, vocals)
Ike Willis (lead vocals)
Peter Wolf (keyboards)
Tommy Mars (keyboards)
Arthur Barrow (bass, vocals)
Ed Mann (percussion)
Vinnie Colaiuta (drums)
Jeff (tenor saxophone)
Marginal Chagrin (baritone saxophone)
Stumuk (bass saxophone)
Dale Bozzio (vocals)
Al Malkin (vocals)
Craig Steward (harmonica)

Backstage at the local
Armory, Mary, in her little
white dress, is wiping the
remnants of her performance
off the side of her mouth as
LARRY (the guy from the
garage who quit the band in
order to make an honest
living) zips up the front of
his stinking boiler suit and
sings to the same teen-age
girls who were stomping and
clapping a little while ago,
as they kneel with their
little pink mouths open near
the crew bus, hoping to save
the price of admission by
performing acts of Hooverism
on the jolly lads who set up
the P.A. System.

Larry:
Hey Hey Hey all you girls in these
Industrial towns
I know you're prob'ly gettin' tired
Of all the local clowns
They never give you no respect
They never treat you nice
So perhaps you oughta try
A little friendly advice
And be a CREW SLUT
Hey, you'll love it
Be a CREW SLUT
It's a way of life
Be a CREW SLUT
See the world
Don't make a fuss, just get on the bus
CREW SLUT
Add water makes its own sauce
Be a CREW SLUT
So you don't forget, call
before midnite tonite
The boys in the crew
Are just waiting for you
You never to get move around
You never go nowhere
I know yer prob'ly gettin' tired
Of all the guys out there
You always wondered what it's like
To go from place to place
So, darlin', take a little ride
On the mixer's face
Be a CREW SLUT
Just follow the magic footprints
Be a CREW SLUT
Hey, you'll love it!
Be a CREW SLUT
It's a way of life
I ain't gonna squash it
And you don't need to wash it!
CREW SLUT
Hey, I'll buy you a pizza
CREW SLUT
Of course I'll introduce you to Warren
The boys in the crew
Are only waiting for you

At this point, the road
crew, as all road crews must
from time to time, borrow
some of the big rock group's
equipment and have a blues
jam session, indicating to
the kneeling maidens that
they are endowed with a
great deal of raw talent, as
well as massive meat.
Obviously impressed with
LARRY'S ability to suck so
hard on his harmonica that
screeching little noises
come out of it, MARY kneels
again and reaches upward in
gestures of supplication,
listening intently as LARRY
Find more similar lyrics on http://mp3lyrics.com/VGccontinues to sing...

Larry:
Well you been to Alabama, girl,
'N' Georgia too
'N' all the boys in the crew
Is bein' good to you
I know yer sayin' to yourself
'This is the way to go'
'Cause when you need a little extra
They will give you some mo'
`Cause you're the CREW SLUT

Mary:
Eh, hah ha, I'm into leather...

Larry:
That's good! A lot of the
boys in the crew Love
leather...

Mary:
And rubber...

Larry:
Yeh, they like rubber too...shrink-tubing
With a hair dryer...

Road Crew Chorus:
Trade your spot on the bench
For a guy with a wrench
And be a...

Mary:
Ha ha ha...

Larry:
You like that, huh?
I told you you'd love it...
It's a way of life!

Road Crew Chorus:
The guys in the crew
Have got a present for you!
Ren nah naaah
Ren nah naaah
Ren nah naaah

Mary:
A present for me?

Road Crew Chorus:
Ren nah naaah
Ren nah naaah
Ren nah naaah

Larry:
Hmmm, we got a present for you!

Road Crew Chorus:
Ren nah naaah
Ren nah naaah
Ren nah naaah

Mary:
Whaddya got?

Road Crew Chorus:
Ren nah naaah

Mary:
Whaddya gonna give me?

Road Crew Chorus:
Ren nah naaah
Ren nah naaah

Larry:
It looks just like a Telefunken U-47
You'll love it...

Mary:
With Leather?

Central Scrutinizer:
Eh errr, eh eh...This is,eh,
the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER
again...
And so Mary was enticed away from Joe
By an evil barbarian with a
wrench in his pocket
Lured into a life of SLEAZERY
With the entire road crew of some
Famous Rock Group
(I don't know whether it was
really Toad-O or not
...I don't know... I'll check it out)
Again we see
MUSIC
Causing
BIG TROUBLE!