Frank Zappa Do you Like my new Car? Lyrics:
Frank Zappa (guitar, dialog) Mark Volman (lead
vocals, dialog) Howard Kaylan (lead vocals,
dialog) Ian Underwood (woodwinds, keyboards,
vocals) Aynsley Dunbar (drums) Jim Pons (bass,
vocals, dialog) Bob Harris (keyboards, vocals) Don
Preston (mini-moog) You are... you gotta tell me
something... I mean, seriously, I'm tellin' you
this is the first time that any of my girlfriends
and I have ever met anybody really from
Hollywood... I mean, really... my girlfriend Jim,
and Ian, and Aynsley, and Bob, and Frank... I
mean, none of us... Pleased to meet you... Hi
Howie We never met a pop star from Hollywood...
tell me something: have you ever met Davey Jones?
or Bobby Sherman? No.. no, I .. I mean... David
Cassady, he's so... Jimmy Greenspoon, once I...
Three Dog Night?!! Yeah... Oh! I love them!
They're my favorite band!.. ow gawd.. oh, do you
like my new car? I'm ah.. my Dad just gave it to
me for graduation.. Ah yeaah?!! I'ts a ... it's a
Fillmore, isn't it? Real futuristic, ah.. I dig
the fins... listen: do you know how to get to the
ah Hollywood Inn from here? No, ah.. which one is
it? (burp) excuse me. It's the one by the
airport... you know... cause we gotta get up early
an'.. fly outta here in the morning, y'know... Oh,
I didn't know that... Where do you guys play
tomorrow night? I mean, I'd like to come maybe...
in your bus or somethin'... Yeah?.. (Voice in
background): In the BUS! Come in the bus, huh?...
Tomorrow we're in ah, let's see... Tierra del
Fuego... Ook! You're so professional, Howie! Oh,
it's not... it's nothing... Howie, I mean, the way
you gettin' tp-tp to play, an all these exotic
places, I mean... Yeah Tell me something.. tell me
and my girl-... TELL me: Do you really have a hit
record... on the charts now?... with a BULLET? ...
I mean that's really important to me... Listen,
honey: Would I lie to you just to get in your
pants? He-Het! Listen! Hey, listen to me tellin'
ya: WE ARE NOT GROUPIES! Naw, I never.. I never
said... We are not groupies! You better understand
that!.. I told Robert Planet, I told Elton John, I
told all those big guys... Robert PLANET?! We are
not groupies! No, I never.. Roger Daltrey never
laid a hand on me! Yaw.. it's obvious to see
why... listen, I never... (2nd non-groupie):
Howie.. (1st non-groupie): Tell him! Tell him
right now! (2nd non-groupie): We only like
musicians for f-friends. You know? (voices in
back): Real straight arrow, Howie, Really... just
for friends, Howie... (2nd non-groupie): But we
still like you Yeah.. we wouldn't mind coming in
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your bus, but.. (2nd non-groupie): I mean, we
still want to hear your record... Listen you
chicks!now didn' .. didn't you just say that you
got off bein' juked with a BABY OCTOPUS and spewed
upon with cream corn? an' that your hair-lipped
dyke-o bass-playing girlfriend on the backseat had
to have it with a YOO-HOO bottle or she went
apeshit?!.. Ooooh.. What's the deal, baby? Come
on.. Howie! Howie, lissen yo me... all that's
true.. Come across.. All that's true, and
sometimes I even dig it with a Doctor Brown's
Cream Soda... or a CEL-RAY!... but! we are not
groupies! No matter what you think... No, I
never... We are not groupies.. You see, there
seems to be some kind of a communication problem,
honey... because I... I am a lonely guy from outta
town, y'know an'... an' I want some ACTION... what
I'm talkin' about is, I wanna... a-a-steaming...
succulent... ever-widening, gooey, drippy, runny
kind of a hole with a... with... how shall I put
this... what say we hop in the trunk of your
Gremlin AN' GET OUR ROCKS OFF... Hey!
hey-hey-hey-heyyyy.... Jesus!... (voice in back):
I'm in this band, man... (voice up front): Very
agile, Howie, very agile... (voice in back): I am
in this band no matter what we do up here... it's
all... Now lissen! It just so happend... tonight
me and my girlfriends, I mean, we've all come here
for one thing tonight... Yeah? Looking for a
guy... And we're looking for a guy from a group
Wow BUT HE'S GOTTA HAVE A DICK! WAAAH! AND HE'S
GOTTA HAVE A DICK THAT'S A MONSTER!!
WAAAAAAAAH!... That's me!! That's me! ooh! ...
oooohh, you voluptouns Manhattan Island clit..
Take me... I'm yours, you hole... Fulfill my...
wildest... dreams!.... Ooooh! Anything for you, my
most seductive, seclusive... pop star of a man...
picture this if you can: bead jobs! knotted
nylons! bamboo canes! three unreleased recordings
of Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young fighting in the
dressing-room of the Fillmore East! Why, 'n
enchilada wrapped with pickle sauce shook up and
down in between a donkey's legs until he can't it
stand anymore! All this and more, Howie!
Including! an electric coolde pony harness, with
fuel injection... fuel injection... fuel
injection... Oooh! my god, I ... I ... I can't
stand it!... I mean... I mean, dou you understand
the implications of what I'm saying? I CAN'T STAND
IT!!! I CAN'T STAND IT !! I CAN'T STAND IT!! OH
NO!!... Oh my god... I'm going home! I'm gonna see
my baby... (etc) I really can't stand it...
please... give it to me... give it to me right
here in the trunk of your Gremlin.. give me...
GIVE ME THE ENCHILADA WITH THE PICKLES SAUCE
SHOVED UP BETWEEN A DONKEY'S ASS UNTIL HE CAN'T
COME ANYMORE!... Hey-hey! haha! Not until you sing
me your big hit record!... and I want to hear the
big hit record, and I wanna hear it now, an' I
wanna hear the big hit record now with a bullet!
With a bullet! The bullet? The BULLET! The BULLET!
I'ts the part that gets me the hottest... hehe!..
now sing me that record, and I wanna hear it right
now or you ain't driving nowhere tonight, buddy...
Well, I know when I'm licked... all over.... Okay,
baby: BEND OVER AND SPREAD 'EM!... Here comes
my... BULLET!! (all sing Happy Together)
Lyrics: Do you Like my new Car?, Frank Zappa [end]