Mark Volman (vocals)
Howard Kaylan (vocals)
Ian Underwood (keyboards, woodwinds)
Aynsley Dunbar (drums)
George Duke (keyboards, trombone)
Martin Lickert (bass)
Ruth Underwood (orchestra drum set)
Jim Pons (vocals)

Mark Volman:
Penis dimension.

Howard Kaylan:
Penis dimension.

Everybody:
Penis dimension is worrying me.
I can't hardly sleep at night
'Cause of penis dimension

Do you worry?
Do you worry a lot?

No!

Do you worry?
Do you worry and moan ...
That the size of your cock is not monstrous enough?

It's your penis dimension!
Penis dimension!

Howard Kaylan:
Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah

Mark Volman:
Hiya friends. Now just be honest about it. Did
you ever consider the possibliity that your
penis, and in the case of many dignified
ladies, that the size of the titties themselves
might provide elements of subconscious tension?
Weird, twisted anxieties that could force a
human being to have to become a politician. A
policeman. A jesuit monk. A rock and roll
guitar player. A wino. You name it. Or in the
case of the ladies, the ones that can't afford
a silicone beef-up, may become writers of hot
books.
Find more similar lyrics on http://mp3lyrics.com/VIV
Howard Kaylan:
"Manuel, the gardener, placed his burning
phallus in her quivering quim."

Mark Volman:
Yes, or they become Carmelite nuns.

Howard Kaylan:
"Gonzo, the lead guitar player, placed his
mutated member in her slithering slit." Ha
ha ha!

Mark Volman:
Ooh, or racehorse jockeys. There is no reason
why you, or your loved one should suffer.
Things are bad enough, without the size of
your organ adding even more misery to the
troubles of the world.

Howard Kaylan:
Right on, right on!

Mark Volman:
Now, if your a lady and you've got munchkin
tits, you can console yourself with this
age-old line from primary school:

Mark Volman & Howard Kaylan:
Anything over a mouthful, is wasted.

Mark Volman:
Yes! and isn't it the truth? And if you're a
guy, one night you're at a party and you're
trying to be cool, I mean, you aren't even
wearing any underwear your being so cool, and
somebody hits on you one night, and looks you
up and down and he says uh,

Howard Kaylan:
Eight inches or less?

Mark Volman:
Well let me tell you, brother, that's the time
when you got to turn around and look that son
of a bitch right between the eyes. And you got
to tell him these words: