Frank Zappa The Central Scrutinizer Lyrics:
Frank Zappa (lead guitar, vocals) Warren Cucurullo
(rhythm guitar, vocals) Denny Walley (slide
guitar, vocals) Ike Willis (lead vocals) Peter
Wolf (keyboards) Tommy Mars (keyboards) Arthur
Barrow (bass, vocals) Ed Mann (percussion) Vinnie
Colaiuta (drums) Jeff (tenor saxophone) Marginal
Chagrin (baritone saxophone) Stumuk (bass
saxophone) Dale Bozzio (vocals) Al Malkin (vocals)
Craig Steward (harmonica)

Sometimes when you're not looking he just sneaks
up on you. He looks like a cheap sort of flying
saucer about five feet across with a snout-like
megaphone apparatus in the front with two big eyes
mounted like Appletons with miniature motorized
frowning chrome eyebrows over them. Along the side
of his disc-like body are several sets of
stupid-looking headers and exhaust hoses which
apparently propel him and punctuate his dialogue
with horrible smelling smoke rings. In the middle
of his head we can see an airport wind sock and
constantly twirling anemometer. The bottom of him
has a landing light and three spoked wheels. In
spite of all this, it is obvious that the way he
really gets around is by being dangled from place
to place by a union guy with a dark green shirt up
in the roof who is eating a sandwich (pieces of
which drop off every once in a while and lodge
themselves near the hole where they put the oil in
that makes the cheap smoke).
[ Find more Lyrics on http://mp3lyrics.org/VJ4 ]

He hovers into view and speaks to us thusly...

Central Scrutinizer: This is the CENTRAL
SCRUTINIZER...it is my responsibility to enforce
all the laws that haven't been passed yet. It is
also my responsibility to alert each and every one
of you to the potential consequences of various
ordinary everyday activities you might be
performing which could eventually lead to *The
Death Penalty* (or affect your parents' credit
rating). Our criminal institutions are full of
little creeps like you who do wrong things...and
many of them were driven to these crimes by a
horrible force called MUSIC!

Our studies have shown that this horrible force is
so dangerous to society at large that laws are
being drawn up at this very moment to stop it
forever! Cruel and inhuman punishments are being
carefully described in tiny paragraphs so they
won't conflict with the Constitution (which,
itself, is being modified in order to accommodate
THE FUTURE).

I bring you now a special presentation to show
what can happen to you if you choose a career in
MUSIC...The WHITE ZONE is for loading and
unloading only...if you have to load or unload, go
to the WHITE ZONE... you'll love it...it's a way
of life...Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha...Hi, it's me, I'm
back. This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER...The WHITE
ZONE is for loading and unloading only...If yah
gotta load, or if yah gotta unload, go to the
WHITE ZONE. You'll love it...it's a way of life.
That's right, you'll love it, it's a way of life,
that's right, you'll love it, it's a way of life,
you'll love it. This, is, the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER!
Lyrics: The Central Scrutinizer, Frank Zappa [end]