FZ:

In the beginning God made 'the light.' Shortly
thereafter God made three big mistakes. The first
mistake was called MAN, the second mistake was
called WO-MAN, and the third mistake was the
invention of THE POODLE. Now the reason the poodle
was such a big mistake is because God originally
wanted to build a Schnauzer, but he fucked up. Now
a long time ago, the poodle used to be a very
attractive dog. The poodle had hair evenly
distributed all over its small piquant canine type
BODY. That's the way it used to be, the poodle
used to be a regular looking dog. You know it's
true, I guess you do too. (Oh, I have to kiss you?
Oh okay.)

Anyway listen, check this out. The poodle used to
look good, you know the regular dogs that used to
hang out in the neighbourhood looked at the
poodle, didn't think anything of it. You know,
they didn't use to make fun of it in the olden
days. But the WO-MAN, as you know, has always been
much smarter than the MAN.

Guy In The Audience:

You're the best!

FZ:

That stuff is very bad for you, throw it away,
okay. Now you're interrupting my story, now listen
. . . What is that? Is that the Tower of Power or
what? Oh no no, it's one of those dope fiend
devices, take it away. Now listen:

The WO-MAN has always been much smarter than the
MAN, you know this is true. And so it was since
the beginning of time. The MAN would do anything
to get some pussy. And that's why the WO-MAN
always had control over him.

Find more similar lyrics on http://mp3lyrics.com/VKxIn the beginning the WO-MAN looked the MAN
directly into the eye and said: "I tell you
what, why don't you go get a job because I could
use a few nice things around the house. Mainly
what I need is a clipper, a scissors, and a pair
of zircon encrusted tweezers." (Thank you
very much.)

And of course the MAN did his duty as they say in
the trade. He went out and he got a goddamn job.
Went out and pushed that broom around for about a
dollar-2.98 an hour, brought his money back to the
garden of Eden and gave that money to the WO-MAN.

The WO-MAN ran out the back door of the garden of
Eden, went directly to the hardware store, got the
clippers, the scissors and the zircon encrusted
tweezers and came back and, while the MAN was very
tired from having his job, while he was sleeping,
the WO-MAN got a hold of the POODLE. Because the
WO-MAN had noticed earlier that the length and
proportion of the poodle oral appendage, the
tongue of the dog in other words, ladies and
gentlemen, was very much to her liking, except
that this dog had too goddamn much hair on it. It
didn't have the disco look that's so popular
nowadays.

And so the WO-MAN sat out to modify the
aforementioned dog. Let me get a little uh, visual
aid . . .

Now she took the dog and she cleaned it up a
little bit. You see, she took a little bit of the
back-part here, around the neck, the thorax, the
tootsies. Got all of the unwanted extranious
material off this area which we shall call
Burbank. Then she set the little sucker up like
this, really nice, got his mouth set up like that.
And squatted right ON HIM. Looking down into the
dog's eyes. She looked down into the dog's eyes,
do you know what she said to the dog? She said: