Frank Zappa (guitar, synclavier) Steve Vai
(guitar) Ray White (guitar, vocals) Tommy Mars
(keyboards) Chuck Wild (piano) Arthur Barrow
(bass) Scott Thunes (bass) Jay Anderson (string
bass) Ed Mann (percussion) Chad Wackerman (drums)
Ike Willis (vocals) Terry Bozzio (vocals) Dale
Bozzio (vocals) Napoleon Murphy Brock (vocals) Bob
Harris (vocals) Johnny "Guitar" Watson
(vocals)

ENSEMBLE: (singing) De white boy troubles! (White
boy troubles!) De white boy troubles! (Boy got
troubles!) Oh what a boidennn! (Oh, heavy
boidennn!) His car's fucked up! De boy got a
provlem! She ripped up de 'polstry (Wit de red
dress on) Outa dat O-zo-mobile! (Tell me what I
say) Hafta go ta Tia-Juana now! (I don't have it)
He should go to BROWN MOSES, Way down in
Egyppp-Lainnn! (Egyppp-Lainnn)

THING-FISH: (checking off a clipboard, like a
social worker) Looks likes y'done putty good
heahh, HARRY-AS-A-BOY! I sees ya' growin' up like
a weed, axmodently reproducin' YOSEFF 'n
evvythang. Done found some low-rent housin' in a
one-dimensional cardbode nativity box on some
Italian's funt lawn...bunch o' crab-grass
underneath de offspring fo quick 'n easy
sanitatium...shit! Y'all provvly be savin' up fo
yo first LAVA LAMP putty soon!

HARRY-AS-A-BOY: We're incredibly happy! Even
though I'm gay for business purposes, my
relationship with artificial RHONDA has blossomed
into something really beautiful, although I must
confess to being baffled by how she got knocked
up.

THING-FISH: Well, if de trufe be told, it were de
father o' de boy at de gas statium...when y'sent
de ol' lady in fo' de inner-tube patchin', 'round
de foth o' July.

HARRY-AS-A-BOY: QUENTIN? How could he be so
unfaithful? I'm sure God has ways of punishing
naughty little guys like that!
Find more similar lyrics on http://mp3lyrics.com/VKF
THING-FISH: Mights well stop complainin', boy! De
damage been done! Leastways y'all can pretend to
be SOME KINDA DADDY! Yo' rubber bitch ain't gwine
change no diapers! Y'said y'all was incredibly
happy! Enjoy it while y'got it, boy! De shit gwine
hit de fan in a minute!

HARRY-AS-A-BOY: What? Something BAD is going to
happen?

THING-FISH: You figgit out...judgin' fum de
intellectional expressium on yo' beloved's ignint
face, de bitch gwine be contemplatin' A CAREER OF
HER OWN! See dat?

Look like she got her one good eye on a briefcase
'n a tweed spo't coat down de mall somewheres!

Durin' de intromissium, few de SISTERS seen her
'tendin' a CONSCIOUSNESS RAISIN' MEETIN' over at
de Hiltum! Thass right! Bitch passed up de MASH
POTATOES 'n took off wit' de High School Cafeteria
Butch.

FRANCESCO opens the door, and stands on the porch,
still watching through the binoculars.

THING-FISH: (contd.) Makin' matters woise, de
Italian dat be ownin' yo' nativity bungalow been
wondrin' 'bouts de hanky AN' de panky 'tween you
'n dem two concrete flamingos ovuh by de steps!
You been messin' wit de State Bird o' New Jersey,
muthafucker! Dat kin git you five to life in dis
vicinity! If you wants a little frennly advice,
boy, I'd be growin' my ass up a little quicker, 'n
whizz on outa heahh!

Leave de ugly baby in de crab-grass, snatch up yo'
wretched excuse fo a woman, 'n climb on up de
heap! Get yo'seff a job drivin' a truck fulla
string-beans to Utah! Make sumfin' out y'seff,
so's y'can afode a ticket to de MAMMY NUN SHOW!
Den we can piss all ovuh de adulterated wimp you
gwine become, an' get de shit rollin' agin'!