Schools out, Christmas break
Home for the holiday’s meatloaf and fruitcake

Off to grandmas, it’s so boring
Screaming kids and grandpa’s snoring

My aunt Margaret’s lost her mind
Trippin’ on a train set, have another box of wine

It’s gonna be a merry merry merry frickin’ Christmas
I must be on Santa clauses shitlist
The tree, the gifts, the mistletoe kiss
Shoot me now I’m sick of all my relatives
Have a merry merry merry frickin’ Christmas

Uncle Richard he’s a weirdo
Passing out pictures of himself in a Speedo

My cousin Ashley, her singing really sucks
Blames it on her drummer and her acid reflux
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My brother’s wife is really hot
She pulled me in the bathroom; I hope we don’t get caught

It’s gonna be a merry merry merry frickin’ Christmas
I must be on Santa clauses shitlist
The tree, the gifts, the mistletoe kiss
Shoot me now I’m sick of all my relatives
Have a merry merry merry frickin’ Christmas

We haven’t even opened our presents yet
but now it’s time to start
So I’ll fake a smile ‘cause its going back to Wal-Mart

It’s gonna be a merry merry merry frickin’ Christmas
I must be on Santa clauses shitlist
The tree, the gifts, the mistletoe kiss
Shoot me now I’m sick of all my relatives
Have a merry merry merry frickin’ Christmas