Bartender, yeah, I hear your wise ass, give me a minute
I'm trying to get this round over here
What do you think I'm just working for you here?
Actually will you, will you send a drink
To the lady at the end of the bar? Yeah, that one right there

Here you are, man
Yeah, yeah, it's on me, tell her it's from Travie
It's from this guy over here

From the second she shimmied in
I was intrigued by her essence
And my first instincts to make sure that my presence was felt
Simple and plain, I'm probably jumping the train
But all I could see was my name engraved on her belt

Hit the pause button, damn
I don't even know this girl
And I'm already practicing my sweet-nothings

But that's a classic trait of a soft-spoken
Heart-broken, fellow like my self best believe
(Pussy)
I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve
But that night the Jagermeister had my sleeves rolled up

Wait a minute, hold up
I think she caught me grillin', now I'm spillin' my drink
(Don't look, don't look)
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I knew our feelings were in sync
So now she gave me the wink
The only problem is, I'm not your ordinary average Romeo
A Cyrano de Bergerac
(Shut the fuck up)

In fact, I remember back in fifth grade
I tried to read the book of love, but sadly
The introduction didn't grab me
So I left it on the shelf and kept moving

Assuming that this planet rotates
I'll just procrastinate until the day I bump into my soul mate
Who would've thought I would be pissy ass drunk
When time came for collision

So I made the decision to just keep my composure
(Cool, cool)
Until she started getting closer
And then I felt this weird feeling underneath my left shoulder
And then I slipped, tripped, busted my lip and fell in love

The minute that she stepped in the door
The type of girl, I'd have to make a couple mix tapes for
To me, she equaled MC Squared
And everything else was mathematics
I never took the time to practice