JOHN PRINE Lyrics - LETTER TO THE PENTHOUSE FORUM

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Letter to the Penthouse Forum Lyrics

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Complimentary "Letter to the Penthouse Forum" Ringtone

Dear Penthouse, I never did believe anything I
ever read in your magazine until just the other
night. When something happen to me that was so
strange that I felt compelled to share it with
your readers. I'm a student at State-U. Maybe I'm
getting ahead of myself. It was one year ago
tonight that my room mate "Stupendous
Dork" and I were sittin' around the dorm
poppin' a few frosty's and burning some rope, and
boning up for the speech therapy midterm exam the
next day, by reading back issues of your magazine
out loud to each other. I looked at
"Stu" and he looked at me and we both
knew neither of us was going to get a real good
grade on that exam anyway. We hopped out of the
dorm and went across the street to Herbie's Tumble
Inn. Right across from the dorm there, we came
through the swinging doors and I couldn't believe
my eyes, there they were, sitting at the bar,
these two luscious babes, and they were Siamese
twins I looked at "Stu" and he looked at
me and we looked at them and they looked at us and
then one of the twins said "Won't you join
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us?" and I just laughed and we went and sat
down at the bar. Turns out, one if the ladies was
a speech therapy major and her sister said she had
some rope in her purse there, and a big light bulb
went off in my head and I said "What the
heck, why don't we all go back to the dorm?"
Came out of the swingin' doors at Herbie's and
couldn't get across the street. There was these 30
bikers with jackets that said "Harley
Aristocrats" on the back. There was an
Aerobic dance class and there was the commanding
officer of the campus ROTC pushing a Nautilus
machine right down the double yellow line. I said
"What the heck, why don't we all go back to
the dorm?" The last thing I remember is one
of the twins screaming, "Hey General put your
big heat seeking missile in my love silo!" I
got my degree in spite of failing speech therapy
that quarter. Last night for the first time in a
year, my room mate Stupendous Dork went back to
Herbie's to toast our Commencement. Came thru the
swingin' doors and there they were at the bar, the
same two Siamese twins and I said "Oh
no" and I went and sat down a table. The
twins came over to the table and the one that was
a speech therapy major looked my right in the eye
and said: "Excuse me you probably don't
remember us." Name and Address withheld by
request.

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