Long white Limousine pulls up to the church
A sick part of me wishes it was a hearse
I didn't get an invitation but I'm here anyway
And I don't care if I'm crashing their big day

Well, it might not be too Christian of me
And it might not be too nice
But I wish we were all just standing around
Throwing rocks instead of rice

Long white dress, this must be some kinda joke
Virgin, please she ain't fooling these folks
If the three of us were on Jerry Springer I'd be pulling her hair
And I'd kick that lying sack of should've known better
In the you know where
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Well, it might not be too Christian of me
And it might not be too nice
But I wish we were all just standing around
Throwing rocks instead of rice

Well, the vows that they just made sounded sweet and sincere
Place your bets, my money's on less than a year

Well, it might not be too Christian of me
And it might not be too nice
But I wish we were all just standing around
Throwing rocks instead of rice
Yeah, I wish we were all just standing around
Throwing rocks instead of rice, hey