Loudon Wainwright I Wish I was a Lesbian Lyrics:
I wish I was a lesbian, and not a hetero.
I wouldn't have to mess with men and all their come and go,
And all their awful facial hair and yucky machismo
I wish I were a lesbian and not a hetero!

I wish I was a lesbian and that I wasn't straight.
I would sleep with women only. Man, it would be great.
I could throw away my diaphragm, I wouldn't want to mate.
I wish I was a lesbian, and that I wasn't straight!

I wish I were a lesbian, I'd like to be a dyke.
I would hang with K.D. Lang, Mel Gibson, take a hike!
I think it would be nice to love someone who was alike.
I wish I was a lesbian, I'd like to be a dyke!
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I wish I was a lesbian, that's why this song is sung.
It shouldn't have to matter how somebody is hung.
Other things are more important- like how you use your tongue!
I wish I was a lesbian, that's why this song is sung!

I DARE Casey Kasem to play this!

I wish I was a lesbian and I know it's sad but true
but maybe I might understand you guys and all you do
but if I was a lesbian I wouldn't have to!
I wish I was a lesbian, I know it's sad but true!

I wish I was a lesbian, and not a hetero.
I wouldn't have to deal with men and all their come and go,
And all their awful hair and yucky machismo
(I hate that damn machismo!)
I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero!
Lyrics: I Wish I was a Lesbian, Loudon Wainwright [end]