Paramaecium Lyrics
I am not Alive

I am not alive, though they say I am. Such is the
grave inconsequence of man; liar that I am, I am
not alive at all, not alive at all, no. I am not
alive.

Countless years have I spent in my quest, or so it
would seem, at the will of my mentor's request for
truth, for the meaning, for life. But what of this
day? What of my own existence? How can I pray to
that which I cannot perceive?

Destiny would have that I blindly follow with no
thought of my own. But when I contemplate tomorrow
my heart is turning to stone. Why am I never
satisfied? Why do I live with constant pain? Is
life just passing time till I die and thence never
to rise again?

The sun is gone bringing the dark, the darkness
heralds in the night. I cannot sleep, my eyes are
wide, it's the longest night of my life. I've been
denied, my life is gone, where is my breath, I
must have died. My hour is come, my tears are dry
within my eyes, life is denied. I'm cold, I'm
dying, I'm cold, I am dying.
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In my wretchedness, I recall the words my Teacher
spoke to me, "It won't suffice merely to exist my
young friend. To be alive is not to live, you must
have life." Destiny, my companion, who has joined
me for many a day, enlightens my wandering mind
thus, "The fact that it is your utmost desire to
behold both truth and life, whilst you live in
ongoing uncertainty and the everpresence of death,
would suggest that this state which you find
yourself in is not of your own demeanour; suggests
that you once had contentment and life from whence
you've been enticed away. Such was the Fall, that
great tragedy of man. To behold both truth and
life, reason alone cannot suffice. You will not
find it within yourself for there lies corruption
and death. And there's no use in searching outside
yourself for that, I'm afraid, is just nature.
Reason alone cannot suffice. You must search in
the great beyond, involve the Hidden Lands in your
reckoning. You must search in the great beyond,
acknowledge the Ancient in His beckoning. For this
you'll require faith, the substance of things
unseen, for reason alone will never suffice. For
there are greater things behind the sky than in
the entirety of creation. There are greater things
behind the sky than in all that you survey."

The spirits cry, they want me now but I resist, I
will not die. I need the truth, such is my quest,
I will not rest until I find the light.