Red Blanchard Lyrics
Captain Hideous

[Blanchard, spoken:]
Blast off! Five, four, three, two, one.

[Blanchard makes the sound of a blast off.]

Up through the atmosphere,
Racing through the stratosphere,
Through the ionosphere. It's...

[Blanchard, sung:]
I am captain hideous, the master of the sky.
I wear a plastic helmet and patent leather boots.
I never could find out exactly why.
I am captain hideous, but you can call me Red.

I'm brilliant and I'm noble.
I'm modest and I'm brave.
My heart is solid gold, so is my head.

I'm a perfect hero, of virtue, I am full.
I'm always chasing villians,
'Cause I think they're terrible.
Bully, bully, bully, big, brave Captain Hideous,
I speed from place to place.
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Though it's safe to travel by rocket ship to Mars,
I always go by taxi, just in case...
What an ace! Captain Hideous, king of outer space.

[Instrumental break.]

[Blanchard, spoken:]
Aye, yes Caps, this time I'm on the
Zorch, interstellar, space caper to Mars,
Hunting for my old nemesis, Mule Trader Neb.
The used, space, Smashizzle king.

[Blanchard, sung:]
Bright, young Captain Hideous, the wizard of the lab.

As well as scientific, I'm handsome and I'm strong.
A hundred ninety pounds of solid flab.
God bless Captain Hideous, the planets I explore.
My ship is full of motors, thermometers and wheels.
I wish I could discover what they're for.

I try to capture killers but, oh, it's quite a pull.
They always want to kill me, which I think is terrible.
Bully, bully, bully, reckless Captain Hideous,
Meets danger face to face.

But I'm so law abiding, whenever there's a fight,
I disappear and never leave a trace.
What an ace! Captain Hideous, king of outer space.