Men and Women – Rodney Carrington

You women have so much power in your pants you
have no clue. You have to much power! That little
hairy critter you got in you bridges causes more
shit than anything else in this world. If I had a
twat in my bridges I'd be in a hotel room right
now with eight guys, 'cause I'm a big old
hoar. You have to much power. You can ....in the
front yard and tell your man: 'Now you go out
there and eat that, when you come back, you can
have some!' You know what he'd do? Whah whah!
He 'd come running back into the house with a
chocolate ring around his lips. 'I did it!!'.
You stupid son of a bitch, I was kiddin'. Well,
I still get the pussy don't I? Well no, you got
shit in your mouth! Thank god for hands. I'm 34
years old, I jack off more now than I did when I
discovered it. When I discovered it, I loved it:
Man, this feels great. What the fuck was that? I
can't see! I can't see! How many women
masturbate? Look, 10 of you! Horseshit! Is that a
14 biljon dollar a year dildo business I think it
is. Then 10 women out here keeping it going.
Horseshit! Women do it. I just do it in private.
Found her hanging against the washingmachine while
folding clothes. Whooooooooo shit! ' What are
you doing?' I'm folding clothes!!!! Shit, and
I watched. And then men get all the shit, 'cause
we're the horny ones, you know? 'You're
always horny. That's all you ever wanna do!' I
KNOW! Because one of us had to be. One of us had
Find more similar lyrics on http://mp3lyrics.com/H2E2to be the horny ones. There's men en there's
women. One of us had to be the horny ones. So
it's men. Women don't think like we do.
They're emotional creatures. If they did, we'd
all in a big ... right now. Which would be a hell
of a lot of fun. That's why men created sports.
Men created sports 'cause they get tired of
thinking about pussy 24 hours a day. Because sex
is all about find them a girl, getting' in the
little spot. Find her, get there....... It's all
it's about. And if you look at sports it's the
same way 'cause men created them. Footbal!
Upright through the middle! We put hair on the
post is it wouldn't too offensive. Basketball: 2
hole, 5 guys fighting 5 other guys for a hole.
Just like being in a nightclub! And off course
tennis was invented by a women, 'cause that's
just her doing: Back and forth, back and
forth..... Which goes back to the power-issue. If
there is an argument at my house, my wife can take
the puss, run in another room and hold it hostage.
All of a sudden I am a hostage-negotiator. 'Have
you harmed the hostage in any way? Press the
hostage against the window so I can see it. Why is
the hostage smoking white sigar? We know you got
demands, what are they? She wants to go shopping.
Shit! And a new car. Fuck! She wants a helicopter.
God damn' we can do that I tell you . a
helicopter, Helicopter, HELICOPTER ,HELICOPTER !!
Thanks a lot everybody for coming out. I hope you
had a great time. I did! Thank you! Good night.
Thank you very much.