Rugburns Dick's Automotive Lyrics:
One, two, one, two, three, quattro

John was living in Ocean Beach, California with
his girlfriend, Julie, when he decided one day,
"Hey, Jule, let's move up north. To northern
California where the air is clear and the skies
are blue and they have more traditional family
values. What do say Jule?" So they loaded up
their car and they moved up north to the Santa
Cruz mountains near the Byantine Winery into a one
bedroom trailer behind the bowling alley. Two
blocks from the supermarket. One more block to the
south

Of Dick's Automotive Dick's Automotive Dick's
Automotive Dick's Automotive

John applied for a job at Dick's Automotive and
Dick came to the door and he said, "Tell me
Johnny boy. Can you rotate the tires on a '72
Subaru?" He said, "No." "Well
then, can you change the oil in a '76 Pinto?"
He said, "No." "Well can you
rebuild a holly four-barrelled carburetor on a '69
Camaro with a big 'ol hearse shift rod?" And
he said, "Um, no." "Do you have a
girlfriend with long, red, curly hair. Creamy,
milk-white thighs. Big full lips. Biceps like
Henry Rollings? And can she just scream like a
hyena in the summer?" And he said,
"Yes." And Dick said, "Boy, then
you're hired."

At Dick's Automotive At Dick's Automotive At
Dick's Automotive At Dick's Automotive

John studied real, real hard. He learned how to
rotate the tires on a '72 Subaru. He learned how
to change the oil in all the Pinto's. And he
learned how to rebuild that holly four-barrelled
carburetor on a '69 Camaro. And much, much more
than that. He learned how to make love with his
girlfriend, Julie like a real man oughta. And Dick
gave him his service stripes and he said,
"There's a little old lady and her car's
broken down up near the Byantine Winery. You gotta
help her man. Go Sheba, Go. Rrraah, Rrraah."
So he sent him on his way and about that time Dick
glued back in his dentures, glued back on his
toupee, stood in front of the mirror and said,
"I feel sexy! I wonder what Julie's doin' all
alone in that trailer. I bet she's having trouble
opening up a can of peaches right now. I'll bring
along my blowtorch just to see if she needs
help." So he hiked a block down the road to
the one bedroom trailer behind the bowling alley
and he knocked on the door. And Julie answered the
door and she said, "Oh, hello Dick. I was
just having trouble opening up a can of peaches.
C'mon in." So he started up the blowtorch
(bwooh) and all the peach juice ran down his
veins. And he poured it in the Tupperware that
Julie used to sell in Ocean Beach. And he said:

We're goin' on a picnic We're goin' on a picnic
We're goin' on a picnic We're goin' on a picnic
We're goin' on a picnic We're goin' on a picnic
[ Find more Lyrics on http://mp3lyrics.org/HZ3U ]
We're goin' on a picnic We're goin' on a picnic

So he loaded Julie into his '57 Chevy and he drove
her up right near the winery. Into the middle of
the forest he took her. And he tied her up to a
tree. And cut half of her top down. And he said,
"Stick out your tongue." Then he put on
forty-two and a half tabs of brown acid that he
still had from his Woodstock days. Sprickled a
little paote on her tongue just for good measure.
She saw all kinds of colors. Lemon yellow, orange
orange, cherry red, kaleidoscope eyes. The world
was on fire. And about that time there was a mommy
deer walking through the forest with a baby deer.
And Dick cut down Julie's arm and he poured in
some granola and he mixed it up with stricnine
poison and he said, "Oh, c'mere little deer.
I have some food for you. Look at Julie." And
the mommy deer said, "Oh, I better eat it
first because it could be poisonous and my heart
is much stronger than yours, child." But
really the mommy deer was just a glutton and
wanted all the food. And the mommy deer stuck her
little mommy snout into Julie' s palm and it
licked it. Mmmm. Mmmm. And it said, "oh, go
ahead, eat some." But the mommy's heart was
much stronger and when the baby deer stuck her
tongue into the palm of Julie's hand and licked,
it died. Flat shooby doo wop down. And the mommy
deer died shortly thereafter. Zippity doo wah out
on the ground. And Dick cut Julie down from the
tree and he looked at the dead deer at his feet.
And he grabbed her around the neck and pushed his
tongue right down her mouth. And he said,
"Wow, nature's so bitchin'!"

At Dick's Automotive At Dick's Automotive At
Dick's Automotive At Dick's Automotive (play it
you silly freak!)

'Bout that time John was driving back down the
road feeling really good about helping that little
old lady out. And he saw Dick's '57 Chevy parked
on the side of the road he said, "Wow, he
could be in trouble. I'd better bring along a
chainsaw, a blowtorch and an icepick just to see
if he needs help." Then he said, "Whoa,
that looks like the afghan sweater that Julie's
grandma knitted us last summer in Ocean Beach.
What's Julie doing here?" And he hiked
through the forest. And he saw the love of his
life on a dirty brown piece of Berber carpet.
Dick's dentures on the ground chattering. His
toupee being carried off by the squirrels and
cockroaches. And he saw red and he started up a
blowtorch (bwooh). Then he welded their bodies
together, took an icepick out of a secret manilla
envelope, stabbed them fifty-seven times. Started
up a chainsaw (br-r-r-r-r), cut off Dick's ankle.
Put his foot right in his mouth and says,
"Look's like you put your foot in your mouth
one last time, Dickie Boy!" Then he looked at
the dead deer at their feet and he picked them up.
And he gave the mommy deer mouth to mouth
resucitation, but to no avail. The mommy deer was
dead. And he gave the baby deer mouth to mouth
resucitation and the baby deer came back to life.
Charles Bronsan had tears in his eyes, I guess
'cause nature had been vindicated. David Coresh
was selling barbequed ribs on the side. The mommy
deer still was dead. And he said:

Mommy deer dead, baby deer alive Mommy deer dead,
baby deer alive Mommy deer dead, baby deer alive
Mommy deer dead, baby deer alive

At Dick's Automotive At Dick's Automotive At
Dick's Automotive At Dick's Automotive At Dick's
Automotive At Dick's Automotive At Dick's
Automotive At Dick's Automotive At Dick's
Automotive At Dick's Automotive At Dick's
Automotive At Dick's Automotive At Dick's
Automotive At Dick's Automotive At Dick's
Automotive
Lyrics: Dick's Automotive, Rugburns [end]