Shel Silverstein Diet Song Lyrics:
Well breakfast black coffee one slice of dry toast
no butter no jelly no jam Lunch just some lettuce
two celery stalks no booze no potatoes no ham
Dinner one chicken wing broiled not fried no gravy
no biscuits no pie And this dietin' dietin'
dietin' dietin' sure is a rough way to die

So pass me a carrot stick peel me a prune a glass
of skim milk and that's all Turn off the TV for
the Big Mac commercial it's drivin' me straight up
the wall And I'm think' of french fries sausage
and waffles spaghetti and cookies and cake And
each night I'm dreamin' of chocolate ice cream and
I'm starvin' to death when I wake all for your
sake
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You're fixin' the kids all those creamed mashed
potatoes But it's bouillon and water for me and
you got a lock on the refrigerator Lord knows
where you're hidin' the key And while I am
starvin' for food late at night I'm starvin' for
lovin' from you But you say that when I can see my
own dick you'll be glad to look at it too

So supper two pieces of cauliflower raw some
beefsteak the size of a nail One sliced tomato a
small dab of slaw I swear I ate better in jail
Stop eatin' that pizza right under my nose girl
that's the least you can do And put down that
candy bar while I am singin' I'm starvin' my ass
off for you And when I am dead with the insurance
paid you'll look down at me and you'll grin You'll
say well the boy tried and he suffered and died
But don't he look good when he's thin
Lyrics: Diet Song, Shel Silverstein [end]