(Okay now years ago I wrote a song called A Boy
Named Sue and that was okay And everything except
then I started to think about it and I thought It
is unfair I am looking at the whole thing from the
poor kid's point of view And as I get more older
and more fatherly I begin to look at things from
an old man's point of view So I decided to give
the old man equal time okay here we go)

Yeah I lef' home when the kid was three and it
sure felt good to be fancy free Tho I knew it
wasn't quite the fatherly thing to do But that
kid kept screamin' and throwin' up and
pissin' in his pants til I had enough So just
for revenge I went and named him Sue Yeah it was
Gatlinberg in mid July I was gettin' drunk but
gettin' by Gettin' old and goin' from bad to worse
When thru the door with an awful scream comes the
ugliest queen I've ever seen He says my name is
Sue how do you do then he hits me with his purse

Now this ain't the way he tells the tale but he
scratched my face with his fingernails And then he
bit my thumb and kicked me with his high-heeled
Find more similar lyrics on http://mp3lyrics.com/hGNshoe So I hit him in the nose and he started to
cry and he threw some perfume in my eye And it
sure ain't easy fightin' with a boy named Sue

So I hit him in the head with a caned-back chair
And he screamed hey dad you mussed my hair And he
hit me in the navel and knocked out a piece of my
lint He was spittin' blood I was spittin' teeth
And we crashed through the wall and out into the
street A kickin and gougin' in the mud and the
blood and the creme de menth

Then out of his garter he pulls a gun I'm about
to get shot by my very own son He's screamin'
bout Sigmond Freud and lookin' grim uh So I
thought fast and I told him some stuff How I named
him Sue just to make him tough And I guess he
bought it cuz now I'm livin' with him Yeah he
cooks and sews and cleans up the place he cuts my
hair and shaves my face And irons my shirts better
than a daughter could do And on the nights that I
can't score well I can't tell you anymore Sure
is a joy to have a boy named Sue yeah a son is fun
But it's a joy to have a boy named Sue