There was a red-back on the toilet seat
When I was there last night,
I didn’t see him in the dark,
But boy! I felt his bite!
I jumped high up into the air,
And when I hit the ground,
That crafty red-back spider
Wasn’t nowhere to be found.

I rushed in to the missus,
Told her just where I’d been bit,
She grabbed the cut throat razor blade,
And I nearly took a fit.
I said, “Just forget what’s on your mind,
And call a doctor please,
‘Cause I’ve got a feeling that your cure
Is worse than the disease.”

There was a red-back on the toilet seat
When I was there last night,
I didn’t see him in the dark,
But boy! I felt his bite!
And now I’m here in hospital,
A sad and sorry plight,
And I curse that red-back spider
On the toilet seat last night.

I can’t lay down, I can’t sit up,
Find more similar lyrics on http://mp3lyrics.com/qhuwAnd I don’t know what to do,
And all the nurses think it’s funny,
But that’s not my point of view.
I tell you it’s embarrassing,
And that’s to say the least
That I’m to sick to eat a bite,
While that spider had a feast!

And when I get back home again,
I tell you what I’ll do,
I’ll make that red-back suffer
For the pain I’m going through.
I’ve had so many needles
That I’m looking like a sieve,
And I promise you that spider
Hasn’t very long to live!

There was a red-back on the toilet seat
When I was there last night,
I didn’t see him in the dark,
But boy! I felt his bite!
And now I’m here in hospital,
A sad and sorry plight,
And I curse that red-back spider
On the toilet seat last night.

From his album: "Greatest Hits"
Contributed: Marten Busstra 2009