South Park Mephisto and Kevin Lyrics:
In 1986, the University of California Davis,
sought two of the all-time brightest stars, Dr.
Alphonze Mephesto, and Dr. Arny Abe Sacrabin, Dr.
Mephesto worked hard toward his thesis, his goal
was to genetically duplicate the DNA structure of
asparagus, so that all asparagus would grow to the
same girth and length, giving asparagus a much
more pleasant presentation in the world's
supermarket vegetable business.

Dr. Abe Sacrabin's goal was to genetically create
the greatest musical entertainer the world had
ever seen, Dr. Abe Sacrabin knew that if he could
assemble the right elements he could theoretically
build a DNA structure, that would ensure his
creation of talent far surpassing the average
individual. At the time, one subject of urban myth
was the story that Michael Jackson, in a effort to
retain his youthful look and feminine vocal
characteristics had his testicles surgically
removed, thereby making him a modern day Castrato,
If such a rumor were true, Michael Jackson more
than likely would have some of his semen preserved
before the surgery to insure the future of his
name and lineage.

Word came back to Dr. Abe Sacrabin, of a secret
cold storage locker deep within the bowels of a
used UCLA research center, that not only contained
four containers of frozen semen, but also held a
pair of testicles each was labeled with the name,
Jack Michaelson.

I once heard a noise, In the night the most
sentuaint voice, the song of love from an angelic
boy, stuck in my head, and this is what he said,

"I am gopher boy, pondering reality, I am
gopher boy, Who will buy my raspberries?"

This had to be the seed of the king of pop, Dr.
Abe Sacrabin was able to use his charm and
chiseled great features to woo a young lab
technician by the name of Jennifer, who of course
just happened to have the proper access needed to
obtain a small vile of the precious semen. The
search for the egg was a short one, Dr. Mephesto
simply ran an ad in the classified section of an
LA Music magazine. The ad read: "Wanted:
Unfertilized human eggs for genetic experiment.
Donors must have musical background." With a
plethora of young eager wannabe musical stardoms,
willing to sell their eggs, the two doctors, after
rigorous auditioning, picked and purchased. Dr.
Abe Sacrabin felt that it would be far less
complicated legally, if the fetus was brought to
term in the womb of a non human. He had long since
secured the services of the University Volleyball
Mascot, a llama by the name of Missy. When the
[ Find more Lyrics on http://mp3lyrics.org/KjLI ]
baby was ready, the child was removed via
cesarean. It was a healthy baby boy, and he was
named Kevin.

I once heard a noise, In the night the most
sentuaint voice, the song of love from an angelic
boy, stuck in my head, and this is what he said,

"I am gopher boy, pondering reality, I am
gopher boy, Who will buy my raspberries?"

Kevin was a beautiful child, Dr. Abe Sacrabin
sought to it that Kevin was trained by the best in
all aspects of performing, his voice was golden
and had a sweetness to it that most males lacked.
He moved with grace and was able to moonwalk by
the time he was three. As Kevin grew with talent,
Dr. Abe Sacrabin started noticing odd developments
in his physical state. When Kevin lost his baby
teeth, his secondaries came in with a vengeance,
they were at least twice the size as a normal
adult's and the two in front stuck nearly straight
out, also as Kevin reached the 8th year, he was
the same height as he was when he was 4. To top it
off, he was growing hair all over and his penis
was enormous, even by adult standards. It also
dawned on the doctor that even through all the
years of hearing Kevin's singing, he rarely spoke,
often chosing to communicate through various
grunts and gurgles

I once heard a voice, In the night the most
sentuaint voice, the song of love from an angelic
boy, stuck in my head, and this is what he said,

"I am gopher boy, pondering reality, I am
Gopher Boy, who will buy my raspberries?"

Other's were noticing the changes in Kevin, the
children began to tease him, and call him
"Gopher Boy". One Day, a bully by the
name of Big Roy, started throwing bananas at him,
soon a crowd of kids were all throwing bananas.
Suddenly, in a fury, Kevin rushed at Big Roy and
bit 3 fingers off on his left hand. Kevin was
taken away and placed in the custody of the state,
Dr. Abe Sacrabin actions were found out, but
because there was no legislation concerning the
genetic construction of another human being, no
criminal charges were brought forth. The medical
association's board of ethics stripped him of all
his credentials and his reputation was ruined, in
fact, his name became so synonymous with failure,
that for years to come, med students around the
world were known to say in time of mishap,

"Damn, I feel just like Abe Sacrabin."

Dr. Mephesto immediately began proceeds to adopt
little Kevin. Being a noted scientist and the
creator of the cloned asparagus, it wasn't long
before the two were legally united as father and
son.

They moved to Colorado, where they live in
relative obscurity. Kevin is still a boy, of few
spoken words, sticking mainly to his grunts and
gurgles, but on occasion, if you listen closely,
you can hear his sweet golden singing voice, ring
out into the night, over the small town, of South
Park.

"I am gopher boy pondering reality, I am
Gopher Boy, who will buy my raspberries?"
Lyrics: Mephisto and Kevin, South Park [end]