Intro: Cause these are the tales, the Freaky Tales
These are the Tales that I cherrish so well.
You don't like my dirty rap, you can go to hell
Cause Short Dog's on the mic spittin Cocktales.

Verse1: H - E - A - D
All you washed up girls tryin to throw that P.
You're just a big freak, you better not complain
When you hear these Cocktales and you hear your name.
If you're takin, it ain't no thing
I'll pick up the phone and call Janine.
If I call Marie, I know for a fact
I'll get worked in my drop top cadillac.
I met this freak -- named Naomi
Straight head doctor, worked me and my homies.
She had a best friend, her name was Vicki
I pulled her to the side and let her lick me.
She was fine as hell, but not fine and Tina
Tina, Tina, the dick cleana!
I took her to my house and I told her, "strip!"
Baby got freaky -- started doing the splits.
I said, "Tina, you can do what you want
Cause a true blue mack won't even front."
I *** with my ***, she tried to ***
She was so ***, wouldn't give me none.
I'm sir Too $hort couldn't be no punk
I'm trying to get funky cause I love the funk.
Minus *** and her man had a little one
I didn't *** freaky ass, but it was still fun.
I know you stop and wonder what it is
It's the California lifestyle that I live.
Roll em up fat and take me a puff
And tell everybody about this freaky stuff.
I know this girl name Annette
Get her all alone and she'll do like this.
She'll freak you -- won't say no at all
Get her all alone and she'll have a ball.
I know another freak, her name's Jo Ann
I always like to *** cause I know I can.
Finest thing around, ain't got no man
Everytime she cross my mind, I go *** again.
She's like another freak named Christine
So damn dumb, I named her misdemeanor.
Find more similar lyrics on http://mp3lyrics.com/QyFdCause it had to be a crime to be dumb
I toll her to my house and she let me cumm
In her mouth -- You know I work all in tip
She got my number, if she beeps me, I'm a call the trick.
And go diggin them gutts like the gardener
If she starts screamin, I'm a hump a little harder.

chorus: Cause these are the tales, the Freaky Tales
These are the Tales that I cherrish so well.
You don't like my dirty rap, you can go to hell
Cause Short Dog's on the mic spittin Cocktales.

verse2: I meet the groupies -- hookers like Cathy
Fuck a MC cause she's so nasty.
See her backstage tryin to throw that ass
She's just like the freaks, so she had to pass
Me that funk -- You can't stop this
Just let her roll on voes and drop her quick.
My name is Short, my game is long
I freak these freaks and sang these songs.
I know another girl named Stephanie
Do anything she can to have sex with me.
She really doesn't bring out the best in me
But, I love her fine ass laying next to me.
She's like another freak name Nicole
So damn sprung on my diamonds and gold.
I took her to my house, she gave me the panties
I dicked her so good, she told her friend name Angie.
Angie called me up about 2 weeks later
Came by the house and said do my player.
So, I dicked her just like Tamara
Taking naked pictures with my polaroid camera.
Next they told her friend name Rocquelle
Got my skin all under her fingernails.
While she was diggin in my back, I was dickin it
That was way back when, now I can't find the trick.
But if I do, I'll probably do the same again
Break her ass for everything, cause I came to pimp.
I'm Too $hort baby, I don't stop mackin
I grab the microphone and I don't stop rappin.
You can bet your life as I spit these raps
I'll be funkin em up like that..... BITCH